About: Kevin/Scotty and a few others
Rate: This part: G (Sorry!)
Disclaimer: I don't own Brothers & Sisters, they belong to ABC. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: In the wake of Kevin's operation, Kevin doesn't only have strange dreams of Elizabeth, but also one of Scotty..... (semi-AU?)
Extra Note: And okay, just to prove that the writers of B&S aren't the only ones who can write incredibly unrealistic romantical nonsense with a 100% predictability-rate.
Scotty quickly looks in on the sleeping Kevin, but Kevin’s breathing is so calm and he looks so relaxed, that Scotty sees no need to wake him up. He quietly closes the door behind him and returns to the kitchen where Nora made some coffee for all of them and now that it’s ready, she wants to hear the entire story about Kevin’s dream…
CHAPTER 6: THE INTERMEZZO IN THE STORY OF BOY + BOY, THE PAGE-FILLING BLAH-BLAH, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE IMPORTANT TO THE REST OF THE STORY, BUT THAT YOU STRUGGLE THROUGH, BECAUSE YOU WANT NOTHING MORE THAN SKIP TO THE LAST CHAPTER, EXCEPT ... YOU DON'T HAVE THE LAST CHAPTER YET. (nahnah-nah-nah-nah! )
The crash is so loud that the entire barn trembles under the sound, waking Kevin and Scotty from their sleep.
“What was that?” Scotty asks disorientated. Kevin quickly gets up and looks through the small window.
When they had left the house, late in the morning, the sun had still been shining brightly, but now the sky was black with rain and Kevin recognizes the severity.
“I have to call the house and ask if one of the others can pick up us up, there’s no way we’ll make it back there, without getting soaked.”
“We still have some food, we could stay here tonight.” Scotty suggests hopeful, but Kevin shakes his head with a smile.
“No, they’ll be worried about us. I have to call them. Besides, with the amount of rain that will fall, this isn’t going to be fun. I’d rather be at the house.”
While Kevin calls on his cell-phone, Scotty gets dressed and climbs down the small stairs and walks out of the barn. In the hay-loft the warmth of the day had still lingered, but here, outside, it’s getting chilly as the wind picks up. Kevin probably knows best anyway.
“Somebody will pick us up. They’ll be here soon.” Kevin announces when he joins Scotty.
They quickly clean up the mess they had made and they make sure that no evidence of either their meal or its aftermath could be found. The rain starts to fall, at first small drops, but then quickly changing into a waterfall of ice-cold water. Just when they’re ready with their cleaning, they hear the sound of a car driving up.
Kevin quickly looks at who’s driving, hoping it will be Tommy.
“Oh, brilliant. It’s dad.” He then sighs with a disappointed look on his face. “He has stopped. We’ll have to make a run for it, if we don’t want to end up soaking wet.” Scotty nods and they disappear into the rain.
Scotty arrives at the car first and surprises Kevin a little, when he opens the door to let in Kevin first, before getting in himself. It’s such a polite and caring gesture and Kevin is quietly pleased with it, until he sees the frown on William’s face. Obviously William will not consider it a charming gesture. Kevin sighs again, his insecurities resurfacing.
“We’d better go home fast. Your mom made dinner.” William says even grumpier than usual as he watches the two young men on the back-seat of his car. Kevin quickly looks at Scotty. He had been thrilled and excited about his afternoon with Scotty, it had been everything he had wanted and hoped for, but one look from William made him feel dirty and ashamed….
Nora puts down her cup and sighs as she lets her finger slide along it, almost as if the feel of the smooth material, gives her courage.
“Thank you for giving me time to think over my reply. Kevin’s dream is weird and though we joke about it,… and he will probably laugh about it too, I certainly think that what Justin said, makes sense.”
Justin sits up, liking the fact that his mother thinks he’s right.
“I do believe that a lot this has to do with Kevin’s own feelings of failing, of not being accepted or his desire to feel protected…” Nora continues. “Kevin did have boyfriends in the past and William wasn’t always happy with them.
William was a good judge of character. He was not always right, but he was often correct in his gut-feeling about someone. If William didn’t trust someone, then there usually was a good reason for it. Most of Kevin’s boyfriends did end up breaking Kevin’s heart. Especially when he was younger, eighteen, nineteen years old.
He would really throw himself into a relationship, give his heart, body and soul and then find out that his partner wasn’t who he thought he was. It made him cynical, tougher to get through to and, generally, more cautious about revealing his emotions to someone.
On top of that, after several failing relationships, he didn’t seem to want to introduce them to us anymore. However, looking back on Kevin’s boyfriends, I can’t help but wonder if William hadn’t been right about disliking them. Some of them were unpleasant human beings, really arrogant jerks.
And I wonder sometimes if William didn’t like them for that reason, and not because they were the gay boy-friends of his gay son. William wasn’t the kind of man who went out of his way to analyze his feelings and, to be honest, Kevin wouldn’t really bother to analyze them either...”
“There are lot of things I don’t remember, because I was too drugged up, so several of Kevin’s boyfriends just came and went without my noticing them, but do you think that dad would have liked Scotty?” Justin asks, knowing he’ll satisfy Scotty’s curiosity as well with that question.
Nora doesn’t answer straightaway, then she sighs.
“I honestly don’t know, before I knew about Holly I guess I could have predicted your father’s reaction, since then… it seems like there were so many things about William I didn’t get, that I can’t be certain about anymore.”
“Guess.” Justin insists. Nora quickly looks at Scotty.
“I think, .. that he would have ended up liking Scotty. And I’m not just saying that, because you’re here or to make you feel better. At first, he would ignored you, but he would keep his eye on you.
And once he would see that you have the same drive he has, to be successful, to be independent, I guess he would have thawed out. I would like to say that eventually William would like you, but none of Kevin’s boyfriends ever made it that far… I do believe that he would give all his support to you and Kevin… but behind your back.” She adds.
“You’ve been awfully quiet, since your father came to pick us up.” Scotty says to Kevin, now that they are back in their bedroom.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just.. he’s my father and I don’t know how he always manages to get to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I always dreamed about having sex in that hay-loft and this afternoon was great, I felt fantastic. I felt like I could take on the entire world! You were amazing and I felt so complete. Like I could be me and I didn’t have to pretend to be someone else.
And then I saw my father… and he gives me one look… And I felt like I just shriveled up inside, like I’m dirty and an awful, unclean person… Everything about me is wrong. Especially you and me together. He… makes me hate myself…” The last words are hardly more than a whisper and Scotty stands there motionless, not knowing what to say.
“Kevin,…” he starts, but Kevin shakes his head and stops him.
“I know! I know! I’m not bad. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m not an awful person. I know that.. with my head, I know it, but he manages to make me feel so negative about myself, that I silence what my mind tells me, because I can literally feel his hate for me…”
Kevin doesn’t look at Scotty, but at the floor, his fists are clenched and Scotty can see him tremble and swallow hard, as it he’s trying not to cry.
“Please, don’t tell him. Don’t mention this to him. I don’t want him to know.”
Kevin now looks at Scotty with an almost haunted look in his eyes.
“I won’t….” Scotty shakes his head to emphasize, that he will not say anything.
“I… I never told anyone this. I don’t want them to know. I have to keep on pretending that I’m not affected by his rejection of me… b-but sometimes it’s so hard….”
Scotty thinks about his mother’s stone-cold face whenever he visits her and his father, and he can feel his own tears burn. He knows exactly what Kevin means. He’d rather bite his tongue off, than admit to his mother that she’s hurting him.
“Your secret is safe with me.”
He takes Kevin is his arms and this time Scotty doesn’t try to distract Kevin with something sexual. All he does is hold Kevin tightly, until Kevin softly pushes him away.
“We have to go downstairs.” He says cheerful, but now Scotty can see, that’s it’s not his real smile.
“Let’s party!” Scotty cheers, feeling equally fake and he’s glad that Kevin notices it too.
If Scotty would have to be honest about this evening, he would call it a complete bore. The Walkers talk, joke and gossip, but both he and Kevin are remarkably quiet compared to the previous evening. Scotty keeps a close watch on Kevin, who sincerely tries to be cheerful, but somehow it just doesn’t happen.
It’s nearly nine, when Kevin suddenly gets up and tiredly says:
“I’m going to bed, I’m exhausted and I have a head-ache.”
“Hey, Scotty, no sex tonight!” Tommy teases.
“Good. I need my beauty-sleep.” Scotty immediately grins back.
He then turns to Kevin and softly says:
“I’ll help your mother to put everything back in the kitchen and then I’ll join you.”
“Fine.” Kevin replies, not really unfriendly, he just seems depleted of all energy. He bends over and nearly kisses Scotty, but then changes his mind and merely caresses Scotty’s cheek.
The silence hangs the room, once Kevin leaves. Everyone must have seen what he did, but they all avoid looking at each other and they all avoid Scotty in particular.
“Well,…” Nora suddenly decides. “Let’s clean up the dinner-table. Everything to the kitchen.”
Scotty blends in with the others in the stream of those getting in and out of the kitchen. With everyone taking something the table is cleared in no time and Scotty helps Nora in the kitchen by cleaning plates and rinsing glasses, while the others retreat to the living-room to play games.
“I’m so grateful for your help, sweetie.” Nora smiles and Scotty gives her a shy glance in return.
“You’re welcome… I feel more comfortable in here anyway. It’s not the same out there without Kevin.”
“No…” Nora replies softly. “I understand that. Kevin was very quiet tonight?”
“I think the tension of coming here, with me, cause his headaches.” Scotty guesses.
“Does that still happen? Oh, those tension-headaches could make him so sick, my poor boy. Maybe I should check on him.”
“No!” Scotty says, sharper than he planned, so he quickly gives Nora his most charming smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll join Kevin in a bit. I have my own ways to help him get rid of his tension.”
“Yes. I’ve heard about Sarah and Justin’s complaints.” Nora grins. “Oh! I forgot the soup-cups. I’ll be right back.”
Nora disappears. Determined to join Kevin as quickly as possible, Scotty finishes the last two plates, washes his hands and dries them off. He turns around to leave the kitchen and finds himself eye to eye with the only person he would have gladly avoided tonight: William Walker.
END OF PART 6