NC-17, just to be safe.Disclaimer
: B&S doesn't belong to me, written with love, not for money.Summary
: I like trips down memory lane - and this is about seasons 1 & 2.
: That was it all it took for Scotty to suddenly realize, that Kevin was gay. He had no idea what made him think that, but he knew,
that he had to be right. He never wanted it so badly as with this disciplined lawyer sitting opposite of him.
That teasing smile that made Kevin wonder just how deeply unprofessional it would be to jump his client, right here, in the office and just have sex with him. Probably very
unprofessional, but he could not remember ever wanting to find out this badly.
: Scotty felt that there was some sisterly teasing in Sarah’s invitation to the pool-party, but he really needed to see Kevin outside that lawyer’s office and find out what he was like. One invitation
: Red velvet cup-cakes, that is what he brought. It made Kevin smile, because he loved them. And he liked Scotty. If only his mother had not made such a scene. How could he meet the man again without feeling embarrassed? One movie:
He hadn’t called, so Scotty felt free to go with someone else. Randy was nice and kind, but, in all honesty, he
was not the man that Scotty wanted to be with, here in the dark, in this movie-theatre. One movie
: As the movie went on, Kevin felt more and more depressed. He didn’t dare to look around, and find out, if he could see Scotty. He was too scared that Scotty might see him look at him… Or perhaps, he was too scared to see that Scotty did not notice him, because he was too busy doing something else? One date:
Scotty felt disappointed. They settled the dispute? Did this mean that he would no longer see Kevin? No! He had to make a move. So what if Kevin would turn him down? If he didn’t try…. One date
: Kevin noticed that Scotty was still eager to have a date with him and by the time they agreed to the time and Scotty walked out the door, Kevin was pleased with himself. He couldn’t wait. One look:
He didn’t look away. Kevin flirted with him. A smile, a joke and that one look that set Scotty on fire. Perhaps it were the stormy Santa Ana winds that made him this restless, but he felt the need to take action. One look:
He couldn’t keep his eyes off Scotty, who looked so sexy, but when Scotty made his move and kissed him, Kevin suddenly got scared, because he didn’t know if he wanted this to move faster and run the risk of it being just a quick fling, or if he wanted to take it slow and let it be real. One silence:
Next to Kevin, in his car, Scotty trembled inside. He didn’t get it. What did he do wrong? It was just a kiss, no big deal. Not to him anyway. Maybe he should have realized that Kevin would feel differently. Perhaps he had been too honest too soon. One silence:
The car stopped in front of the building where Scotty lived and it was too late. Kevin could not think of anything to say. He wanted to be angry at Scotty, but he was honest enough to know he couldn’t not be. One apology
: It wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. Kevin listened sincerely and seemed genuinely surprised and impressed, suddenly lowering his own guard, be it very carefully. Scotty felt his heart beat faster. One apology
: He was so happy Scotty came back. Kevin was not used to being apologized to and deep in his heart, he knew that Scotty wasn’t completely wrong either. He got the impression that Scotty wanted to get to know him better and Kevin’s heart beat faster. One kiss
: Scotty could not believe that Kevin took the first step this time. It felt so good, just that touch, those lips on his own, that hand against his cheek, the simple touch. Scotty wished it would never stop. One kiss:
Kevin could not believe that he actually took the first step this time, but he was glad he did, because this time he wasn’t shocked or worried, this time he enjoyed the feel of Scotty’s mouth on his and he hoped it would never stop. One insult
: Scotty felt as if Kevin punched him in the stomach. His remarks about wanting to buy Scotty’s time and not wanting a boyfriend who was serving food, were insulting and they hurt, because Scotty knew he was not that rich, but it didn’t mean he was for sale. One insult:
Kevin didn’t understand why Scotty reacted so emotional. He respected Scotty’s work-ethics and the fact that Scotty wanted to be independent, but Kevin was the one who wanted Scotty by his side, and if Scotty could therefore not work that night, why should Kevin not make sure that Scotty wouldn’t suffer from that financially? One dance:
Scotty smiled as the others slowly followed Sarah and Joe’s example. He felt Kevin in his arms. How could he not forgive someone who was so clearly upset over their fight? And to think that he nearly missed dancing with him, here with the others. This was heaven.
Kevin’s head was spinning, but he wasn’t sure if it was the too high level of alcohol or the fact that he was dancing with Scotty, here with his family around him. Scotty had taken him back and that alone was enough to make him feel in 7th heaven. One weekend away:
He hoped for good weather and some time alone with Kevin. Time to make love and get to know each other, perhaps breakfast in bed or a candle-light dinner.
One weekend away
: Kevin hoped it would rain all weekend. Driving up to Ojai, he could only dream of an entire weekend in Scotty’s arms, some quiet time together. He wanted to surprise Scotty with breakfast in bed… or perhaps a dinner with wine, candlelight, soft music….
Scotty opened the car-door. He no longer wanted to listen to Kevin’s apologies. He was done with all this. He was done with Walkers and their drama. He was done with Kevin. One fight:
Kevin watched Scotty close the car-door and panic took him by the throat. This could
not be the end. He agreed this was his worst weekend ever and that things had not gone, as he had hoped or expected. Why was his apology not good enough? Why did Scotty not give him another chance? One cheque
: So that was what it all came down to? Now that he some money, he was good enough for Kevin? Well, sorry, it didn’t work like that. Not with Scotty. If that was way Kevin viewed their relationship, they obviously had too different ideas on the topic.
: The moment the words left his mouth he knew that Scotty would interpret them differently than he had planned for them to be. Kevin had hoped that Scotty would feel less intimidated by Kevin’s financial status, but instead the cheque had put them even further apart. One break up
: He listened to Kevin’s words on the tape. Apology. Pain. Those feelings were present in Scotty as well. He closed his eyes. He knew it had to stop. He had to draw the line. Scotty picked up the phone. One break up:
Kevin could hear it in Scotty’s voice. Pain. Apology. It was not Scotty’s fault, only his own. It just was not meant to be, but even though he knew that, it didn’t dull the pain he felt. Then there was only a final click to indicate that Scotty put down the phone. One blind date
: Scotty was not sure if he ready for this blind date. A lawyer. Kevin. What were the odds? He was not even sure if he wanted to it to be ‘his’ Kevin. Would he be disappointed if it was another Kevin? One blind date
: Kevin could not believe it was Scotty. Of all the people he could have met tonight it would be Scotty. And Scotty still looked great. And he stirred something in Kevin, in a way that only he could. One moment of confusion:
That’s all he had been?! That’s all their night together had been?! A way to get someone else jealous? Scotty felt tears burn, but he did his best to keep his dignity… And he walked out of that bedroom with his head held high, but his heart broken. This time it would be forever. One moment of confusion
: What had Scotty been to him? What had their night together meant to Kevin? Only that he woke up, happier than he had been in months, that he felt annoyed when Chad called him, because Kevin felt that Chad was not really in a position to judge him or lay claim on him. He knew he felt relieved that Chad broke up with him. So why could he not say that to Scotty and stop him from walking out of that door forever? One DUI
: The secretary told him to go into Kevin’s office, but Scotty hesitated at the door. He was not sure if Kevin would want to see him, not after they way things ended last time. He saw how Kevin put on his jacket and turned to him. One DUI:
The shock was big. Kevin didn’t expect to ever see Scotty again. He worked very hard at not thinking about him anymore and suddenly there he was, in his office. He made a joke, but then wisely decided to be professional this time… One attempted kiss
: Scotty felt so stupid, for having tried to kiss Kevin. Why had Kevin not mentioned the boy-friend? He should have known though. Kevin was happy, looked good, seemed in love… and for a moment Scotty had wished he
had re-ignited the fire in Kevin and not Jason. One attempted kiss
: Kevin wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. For a moment he had just wanted to lean into the kiss, but guilt had been stronger. No, not ‘guilt’, why should he be guilty? He was in love
with Jason. It was love
. Right? One inflatable mattress
: Scotty could not remember ever feeling more comfortable. The place smelled the same. So many things were as he remembered, even though some things had changed. Here, on the floor of Kevin’s living-room, he felt more ‘at home’ than he had felt any place else these last few years. One inflatable mattress
: Kevin pulled up the sleeping-bag over Scotty’s shoulder to make sure he was warm and looked down on the sleeping figure on the mattress, a tender smile on his face. One look at the answering machine showed that there were, once again, no messages. He never knew he could feel this lonely. One DVD
: He knew Kevin would not want to watch the ‘Exorcist’ after all, but would go for ‘Glitter’ instead. They shared a bucket of ice and laughed simultaneously at the wrong moments. He looked at Kevin… who didn’t look away… One DVD
: He could almost forget about Jason, when he was around Scotty. DVD, couch, ice-cream…. Laughter… Kevin suddenly saw Scotty look at him… and Kevin didn’t look away, until Scotty did. One note:
He felt so useless. All he could do was call Kevin and ask how Justin was. After all Kevin had done for him… So he cleaned up the loft alone, maybe not the way that Kevin would have wanted, but still… And before he went to work, he left him a note, explaining he made some sandwiches just in case Kevin would be hungry when he came home… One note
: Kevin read the note over and over again and felt the tears sting. Scotty had taken care of the mess, had called him several times, had shown concern for Justin, … left him some sandwiches and coffee… But his two messages to Jason had been left unanswered, no message, no text. Didn’t Jason care at all?
: Scotty was so surprised that Kevin asked him. This would be some highly publicized wedding and Kevin had asked him
to be by Kevin’s side…
He wasn’t sure, why he had asked Scotty. He would like to believe that it was
to spite Jason, but deep in his heart, he knew the truth… he just enjoyed having Scotty around. One lobster dinner
: The content of the first bottle evaporated, the lobster was absolutely terrific, they laughed at each other a little too easily… One lobster dinner
: .. it was the old familiar feeling again. He was just completely comfortable with Scotty’s smile, his jokes, the way they completed each other’s sentences and the feel of Scotty’s body next to him… One moment of hesitation
: “I should go to my air-mattress.” He could hear himself say, but Scotty knew, the moment the words left his mouth, that there was a huge difference between what he should
do and what he wanted
One moment of hesitation
: “Yeah, you should.” He could himself say, but Kevin knew, the moment the words left his mouth, that he didn’t want Scotty to go to his air-mattress, but that he wanted Scotty in his own bed… One, two, three seconds
: .... and his lips were on Kevin’s, there was no way to stop it. He pulled Kevin closer to his own body. He wanted Kevin. Right now. One, two, three seconds
: ... and Kevin was lost in the kiss. It took his breath away and made his body ache for more. He wanted Scotty. Right now. One ‘nostalgic sex-romp’
: He bit his lip, he wanted to scream as his release came closer, but he could not make a sound. It felt too good. He loved the feel of Kevin inside him and he loved to just balance on that thin line, before falling. One ‘nostalgic sex-romp’
: Frantic kisses. Deep thrusts. Needy moans. His? Scotty’s? It didn’t matter. He heard Scotty suddenly hold his breath, he felt Scotty tighten around him and trying not to come was no longer an option, as he followed Scotty’s lead. One request
: Did he hear that right? Did Kevin really ask for a second chance? He loved Kevin, there was no denying it, but was it smart to open his arms to him again… or his even more vulnerable heart? One request
: He heard Scotty speak of ‘take it slow’ and ‘need to think it over’, but he saw the longing in Scotty. That same longing he felt. … At least, Scotty’s answer had not been a cold refusal. There was hope again. One set-back
: An entire day mostly spent alone on ‘enemy’ territory. The first few times he had not mind being introduced as Kevin’s ‘friend’, but as more people of Jason’s family gathered for Robert and Kitty’s wedding, he had felt a growing need to claim Kevin, but Kevin hadn’t been there to claim.
: Kevin looked over his shoulder as Scotty was undressing. He failed again. How could he have been so foolish? He couldn’t bear the thought that Scotty might leave him again. He felt like he was panicking. But then Scotty looked at him and Kevin held his gaze as he approached Scotty, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. One epiphany
: Jason was coming back and Scotty felt terrified. What if Kevin and Jason still loved each other? What if Kevin would prefer him over Scotty after all? God, he could not survive another break up with this man, the man he loved with all his heart.
: He had wondered how it would be to see Jason again. Could there still be a spark between them? Had he lied to Scotty when he said he wanted to be back with him? Had he used Scotty to get back at Jason? \Insecure thoughts, but then the moment passed. No, Kevin knew who he loved. Scotty.
: Jason was what
? Had Kevin lost his mind? Their.. no strike that… his
place….? To meet with Jason again? Scotty’s head was spinning. He should have faith in Kevin, in their love, but doubt was nagging at him.
: Kevin was worried upon seeing Scotty’s reaction. He had been very casual, almost careless with Jason. He wanted to do it at their place, just to show Jason how unimportant it was… Or perhaps it wasn’t?
One act of jealousy
: Scotty had felt victorious at first when he had just crashed the meeting between Kevin and Jason, but once in the kitchen, making soft-shelled crabs, he was no longer sure he had done the right thing. He felt like a four-year old throwing a tantrum and feared he looked like fool.
One act of jealousy:
Somehow the conversation became even more difficult after Scotty left for the kitchen. Kevin had noticed before, that he just didn’t feel like he could be himself around Jason, but with Scotty a few steps away, Jason suddenly looked uneasy as well. What had possessed Scotty to do this? One dinner
: The silence during the last part of the dinner could be cut with a blunt knife, but somehow it was not as hard to endure as the occasional ‘casual’ conversation Jason, Kevin and he tried to have. They all pretended to be civil again, but Scotty felt the residual anger. Something had been damaged and he prayed it wasn’t his relationship to Kevin. One dinner
: Kevin felt nothing but anger. His anger over what Jason had done had been vented, but not gone. He was also upset over the cleverly played game Scotty had played. He had suddenly understood that Scotty still didn’t trust him.
One lonely night
: He had forgotten how cold it could be at night in his car. He felt so lonely and above all, he felt scared. Kevin had repeatedly told him that he was resolved in his decision, but Scotty had questioned his choice and now he was alone. One lonely night
: He had forgotten how cold this bed could be when he slept in it alone. He felt lonely and above all, he felt scared. Kevin feared he had lost Scotty again. Why, oh, why could he not make Scotty understand how much he loved him? One Ranchero
: When Kevin got into the car, all Scotty could do was hope Kevin wouldn’t still be mad at him. Kevin’s apology came so easily and so sincere, his heart beat faster as he accepted his own responsibility in this fight. He loved Kevin so much…
: He only wished he could express how it had made him feel, that Scotty had wanted to fight for their relationship. That, for once, someone else was doing the fighting, instead of it being Kevin trying to hold on to a relationship on his own. He loved Scotty so much…
One karaoke night
: In the back of the cab, Scotty felt Kevin’s sleeping body lean heavily against his own and he smiled happily. Kevin had gone completely out his comfort-zone for Scotty and Scotty was sure he would never listen to ‘Always on my mind’ the same way again.One karaoke night
: …… One wrong proposal
: It had been for all the wrong reasons and Scotty knew it. He was happy that Kevin wanted to protect him, support him and make sure that he was well taken care of, but like he said, domestic partnership was the closest thing to a marriage they could have and it had to be done for the right reasons… One wrong proposal
: He had thought about it since Justin had mentioned the words ‘domestic partnership’. His longing to protect Scotty and be there for him was so strong, that he had seriously considered taking this step, but maybe Scotty was right and it was too soon. One right proposal
: Kevin’s words took Scotty’s breath away. He saw the love in the Kevin’s eyes, he heard the tenderness in his voice, felt the longing to be a family with him radiating from Kevin. He never really imagined how it would be to be proposed to and now he only knew one thing. No one would ever do it better than Kevin just did. One right proposal
: The words just came. Marry me. I’m completely, completely in love with you. I even love the things about you that I hate. And he could see from Scotty’s reaction that he finally did it right. One wedding-day
: It all went so fast. Too fast. Scotty tried to hold on to every little memory of their big day. From the sweet words spoken by Nora and his father’s cufflinks that Kevin brought with him, from the gentle teasing by Justin and Tommy to the attention given to him by Sarah and Kitty and from the way Robert gave up his own ring so Kevin and he could finish their ceremony. It had all been just perfect. One wedding-day
: Nora had managed to give them a wedding-day that was ‘just as romantic and just as memorable as anyone else’s’, maybe even more so, because Kevin had never expected this day to really come or to share it with the man he loved as deeply as he loved Scotty. It had all been just perfect. One wedding-night
: Lips kissing warm skin, hands touching the places they knew to be the right ones. Their bodies fusing together, so easily. Scotty hungrily claimed Kevin and Kevin surrendered without a thought. One wedding night
: He held on to Scotty, his nails leaving marks on Scotty’s back. He moved closer to his husband’s body… oh, how sweet the word ‘husband’ sounded to him… and he gave in, allowing Scotty to take full control of their love-making.
Finally, they were one.