What if....? “Difficult” isn’t what it’s cracked up to be either?
About: Kevin and Scotty.
Disclaimer: Kevin and Scotty or B&S don’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money
Summary: AU – But difficult is sometimes good, you know, it forces you to do things you didn’t think you could.
“Oh, hi, you’re home already?” Kevin reacts surprised as he enters the kitchen and sees Scotty standing there.
“Ahm, yeah.” Scotty replies, staring at the phone in front of him on the table.
“Did you hear from Jason yet?” Kevin asks.
“Yes. I did.”
“When’s he coming home?”
“Huh? I thought you said he’d come back somewhere next week.”
“That was his plan… However, he talked to Chad and now, he will stay and help Chad with the documentary. They think that by attaching the McCallister name to it as well, it might get more viewers.”
“I’m sorry. So, it will be longer before you’ll have your boyfriend back?”
“No, not really.”
“But you just said…”
“He’s not my boyfriend anymore…. He just broke up with me.” Scotty sounds surprised, as if the words only now register with him.
“I’m sorry.” Kevin sits down next to him. “Why?”
“He said something about being so far away from me, made him realize that he cares about me, but isn’t in love with me.”
“You must be devastated.”
“Yessss, …” Scotty replies, but not too convincing, as if he’s not sure about the ‘devastated’-part. “… but luckily I have enough work to distract me. I have to create a new idea for the menu…”
“Oh, I cannot let you drown yourself in soups, salads and pastas. It ‘s too depressing.”
“Kevin, I am depressed.”
“That’s because you’re hurt about the break up, but there are other ways to deal with it, except work.”
“What exactly did you have in mind?” Scotty asks.
“I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a bad week. Chad and I broke up. It’s officially the hottest week of this summer so far. The rain refuses to fall. I get nothing but cranky clients and I just spend my free Saturday afternoon checking out a stack of old paperwork, that my mother found in a drawer and listening to Tommy and Sarah argue over a decision regarding Ojai.
I’m hungry, thirsty, sweaty, tired and I feel sorry for myself ...and for you.. So, how about I show you how we Walkers handle this kind of adversity!”
“Get drunk?” Scotty asks.
“Precisely!” Kevin grins.
“I don’t know. It’s so hot outside, they said on the radio it will be warmer tonight. The idea of being stuck in a dark, warm, sweaty bar with other sweaty men after spending time in a hot kitchen… somehow… not appealing…” Scotty makes a face and Kevin grins.
“Why go to a bar if you have all the alcohol you need right here?”
“Yes. I’ll mix the drinks, you make some snacks. We have a pool! We can swim. It will be great.”
“Drinking and swimming might not be a good combination…” Scotty objects, not too loudly.
“Well, you can stay sober then and watch me get drunk, but I refuse to spend another night, feeling miserable. It’s not just girls who wanna fun, you know. ” Kevin replies with a wink. Scotty considers it for a few seconds, but then decides to let himself go for a change. It’s been so long since he had done this….
They had started with a normal dinner outside in the garden. Just some salad, cold chicken and rice, because Scotty is not in the mood to cook. It had been a while since it had been just the two of them and although the heat made them very lazy, it didn’t stop them from having a relaxing night discussing Kevin's lawfirm, Scotty's restaurant, the Walkers and Robert’s campaign.
during then night, the heat had become more oppressive. In the distance they could first see the clouds gather and later on hear the thunder. There is an occasional flash of lightning in the sky, but the rain hardly moves their way. There isn’t even a breeze.
They had moved from the table outside, to the deck-chairs, then to a blanket on the ground next to the pool. Kevin had brought up the matter of the boring living-room and what changes he could make to it and Scotty hadn’t mind giving him some thoughts on the matter.
Browsing through the magazines that Kevin had brought, he had pointed out what he liked.
“… still think that this is my favorite couch, though.” Kevin points out.
“It is nice, but those chairs are hideous.”
“I agree… I thought this table would go nicely.”
“Glass top? I don’t know. I’d feel like I’d be waiting tables again… Not that my input really matters.” Scotty suddenly says, growing aware that he’s been pushing his own opinion on Kevin this last hour.
“No, I see the practical side of this… It’s nice to get a second opinion… And you live here too.”
“Yes, but not forever. I mean, one of these days, you’ll meet another man, and might want me to find a place of my own.
“Why? And maybe you’re the one who’ll find someone else very fast.”
“I doubt it. After what just happened between Jason and me, I’m not rushing into anything.”
“Who said anything about ‘rushing’. You and Jason didn’t work out as you hoped, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again.”
“I really wanted to believe Jason and I could work.”
“It was too soon. I’m afraid that Jason was more the answer to, - what you believed to be - Frank’s betrayal. I mean, did you really love him? Did you really feel for him what you felt for Frank? Are you as devastated now, about breaking up, as you would have been, had it been Frank?”
‘No. Had it been Frank, then I would have locked myself in my bedroom, listened to sad songs all days and just cried until I fell asleep…. That is also the sad part of breaking up with Jason… I feel guilty for having wasted his time, but I have to admit, I don’t really miss him. Not at all. I actually feel relieved. Stunned, but relieved.”
Scotty is quiet, as if his words had taken him by surprise. Kevin lies down on his back and stares at the sky above him.
“Then maybe it’s good you find out now. It hurts, but you won’t have wasted even more time…”
“And what about you and Chad?”
“I never saw Chad as serious enough to get involved in a longer relationship. He’s had too many boy- and girlfriends over the years. I don’t like the idea, that I constantly have to be on my guard, because my boyfriend might fall for someone else, when I’m not there.”
“I agree. When I’m exclusive, I’m exclusive and I expect my partner to at least try to have the same standard.”
“I know… I needed Chad to boost my confidence though... To remind that I’m a man, that... everything … still works as it should.” He raises an eyebrow and Scotty laughs.
“Was it enlightening?” He asks with a grin.
“Very…” Kevin reply.
“So no complaint there, huh?”
“No, though it lacked some … creativity… which, according to Chad, was not a problem with you and him….”
“Excuse me?” Kevin gives him a shocked glance.
“He said that, in bed, you were very creative but preferred to be more traditional.”
Kevin starts to blush and Scotty thinks he looks adorable and it only awakens the desire to tease him a bit more.
“So, did he live up to hype?” he therefore asks.
“Beyond my wildest expectations.” Kevin answers. “What about Jason? Satisfied?”
“Everything where it should be and in the right size and shape….” Scotty grins.
“You’d know. … having the better eye for quantities and such.” Kevin winks
“Yeah, maybe, but I’m sure that you, as a lawyer, would find the loopholes in the fine print of my assessment…”
Kevin laughs out loud and Scotty stretches out beside Kevin, his hand supporting his head. And Kevin moves closer. Suddenly the little intimacy that they always have had isn’t enough for Scotty anymore.
“I’ve missed this… I missed 'us'.” Scotty says.
“Yes, me too. Jason is a good friend, but since he started dating you, I felt uncomfortable around him.”
“Jealous?” Scotty fishes. Kevin doesn’t answer straightaway.
“I don’t know. I had the idea that the unpleasant feeling came from him. Not from me.”
Scotty feels disappointed. He would not have minded a little jealousy from Kevin. As if Kevin senses Scotty’s disappointment, he continues:
“I’m not the jealous or envious type. I don’t believe in ‘claiming’ someone. I only wanted you to be happy and in love and satisfied with your life…”
For a second Scotty considers telling him that he is not happy, that there’s an emptiness in his heart, that Jason just couldn’t fill, but then he figures that Kevin must feel the same way about Chad. He looks down on Kevin’s face and gently tugs on one of the curls that stick on his forehead.
“Thank you for caring so much…” Their eyes meet and it seems to Scotty like he can’t breathe, it seems like tonight it’s even harder to ignore that hole inside him, but Kevin replies to his look with so much tenderness that Scotty can’t help but confess: “I love this... When you look at someone and they don’t look away.”
It must be the heat and the storm in the air, because the air between them seems almost static. Kevin gives him an uncertain smile, but doesn’t look away from him after his words. Scotty can see him swallow, before Kevin replies with forced casualty:
“You better watch out, I’m a little drunk, you might be able to take advantage of me.”
“Is that a premature excuse..?” Scotty laughs, bringing his lips closer to Kevin’s. Lightning sets the sky on fire. The thunder, however, is still too far away. Unfortunately it breaks the moment and Kevin rolls away.
“I think, I’m more drunk than I thought…. Maybe it’s best if I just go in.” he says.
“Yes, probably.” Scotty replies weakly. “I will take everything to the kitchen.”
“I’ll put the cushions in the shed, wouldn’t want them to get all wet in the rain…”
“No..” They each go their own way and find each other again in the kitchen, when Kevin brings in some stray glasses.
“I’m sorry…” Kevin suddenly says.
“I promised you drunkenness and fun, but…”
“… it was for the best… We shouldn’t do anything stupid that would jeopardize our friendship. It’s alright. I’m not one for getting drunk anyway..”
“Neither am I, not anymore… I don’t know about you, but I’m tired… I think… I’m going upstairs and get some sleep.” Kevin awkwardly points to the stairs.
“Yes… Okay… Goodnight.” Scotty replies, equally uncomfortable. He watches Kevin walk away.
He stacks the plates and cups and glasses, but is not in the mood to clean up any further. It’s just too hot. So he closes the kitchen, checks if everything is locked and climbs the stairs. In his bedroom, the empty bed seems an even lonelier place… He turns the air-conditioner a little higher and falls on his bed.
He presses one of his pillows to his chest and he feels really miserable. Tears fill his eyes and he knows deep inside that these tears are about something far bigger than Jason, or this failed evening. The alcohol, the warmth, the evening,, they all take their toll and Scotty cries himself to sleep….
END OF PART 11