The story is already pretty much in my head. First 3 chapters will be rated G after that we'll move up in the ratings...
I want to thank semisweetsoul for giving me the idea for the 'what if...'s, even if that was perhaps not what she had in mind... :)
Warning: This is an AU (alternate universe) Things can be different or the same, events can have a different impact or not. But in the end, if things are meant to be, they are meant to be.
Forks in the road…. 02/?
What if… . Kevin’s friends don’t think he’s uptight, so Kevin would not have to do what Walkers do best and get drunk?
About: Kevin/Scotty mostly
Disclaimer: Kevin and Scotty don’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money
Summary: AU – They meet once again. Again, not quite as they expected.
“Come on, Kevin, when was the last time you actually went out?” Jordan gives Kevin his best puppy-dog look.
“I’m not really in the mood for partying just yet…” Kevin replies.
“Come on, we’ll all be there. The old gang all back together.”
He drops single names as Richard and John and Quinn… Kevin shrugs.
“I haven’t seen some of them in years… I’ve changed… I was never one for all the dancing, drinking and acting stupid, you know that. I got involved with Tad when I was young and I still love and miss Tad…”
“No one is asking you to immediately chose the next man of your dreams to ride off into the sunset with and forget about Tad. Just come with us, have a few drinks, maybe a dance, relax, enjoy and get outT of this house…. Come on, you’re already on your way to reclaiming your life. You’re selling your house, have plans to move someplace else..
Just go out and have some fun as well. Tad died two years ago. Nobody can take the place he had in your life and your heart. And we all know it was hard for you, but Tad loved you so very, very much, he would have been the last person to demand of you to be alone for the rest of your life.”
Jordan has a point. Tad had been 15 years older than Kevin and had always expected to be the first one to go, though probably not due to cancer, at the age of 45 and also not a few days after Kevin’s 30th birthday.
“Alright. I’ll go with you.” Kevin agrees.
Two years. Two years since Tad died and the first thing Kevin goes for amongst all his clothes are Tad’s favorites. The black jeans still fit perfectly and his shirt, also black, seems to make a strong contrast to his pale face and chest. He shouldn’t wear black, but something more cheerful, he knows.
But Tad always said he looked good in those clothes, so they feel trusted and they are comfortable to wear. Not too tight, not too casual, not too warm, not too cold. For a moment Kevin feels secure standing in front of the mirror, but then he sighs. His hand holds the telephone tightly.
He should call Jordan and tell him he can’t do this. He doesn’t want to go. He’s sure, he’ll look like some fool in that place. A karaoke-bar!! Of all places!!! Plus, he’s not 18 anymore. There comes a time when an 32-year old man should act his age and not act as if he’s still a teenager… Not that Kevin would remember what that felt like…
He nearly drops his phone, when it suddenly makes a shrill noise. A text. “Waiting for you. Don’t run. Don’t hide. Come. Jordan.” Don’t hide. What a fitting comment, Kevin cannot help but grin and then he also knows he can no longer fight. He has to go the “Cinnamon Jack” tonight and step back into the life of a single gay man.
The man’s voice, singing his karaoke-version of some Dolly Parton song, pierces Kevin’s ear-drums. On the dance-floor men dance with other men. Way too close for Kevin’s comfort. Most of his friends are already well on their way to being completely drunk, but after his second drink Kevin had waited long enough before getting a third one.
Jordan and Quinn are in stitches over a not very funny joke Richard told. John’s tongue is lost somewhere in Fritz’s mouth and Kevin seriously wonders how come those two aren’t passed out yet and if Kevin would be honest, he's say that he can’t stand Mario’s boyfriend Gino, who’s rude and asks inappropriate questions.
Richard’s wraps his arm around Kevin’s shoulder.
“This! …” he slurs. “This is life. Young, free and with a dirty mind…. Imagine, Kevin, most of these guys are just available for some good ol’ hot sex…”
Yeah, that’s what worries Kevin too.
“Pay them a drink, take ‘m back to your car and they go on their knees.” Richard continues, hangin around Kevin's neck, because he's not that stable on his feet anymore.
“Really?” Kevin asks, bothered by how easy and cheap it all sounds. “Just a few drinks, huh?” Richard nods, but Kevin shakes his head. This is not what he wants. He’s not even enjoying himself. This might have been fun when he was 17 years old, but Kevin suddenly sees how much living with Tad has changed him.
“I think,… I’ve had enough for tonight.” He says and he goes for his jacket, but Jordan stops him.
“Please, Kevin, it just takes some getting used to… ‘s all.”
“That must be it. But, right now, it feels all so intimidating and it makes me nervous.”
“Kev…” Jordan begs, but his hand slips off Kevin’s arm. And then Kevin sees him enter the bar… It’s nearly eleven. His shift must over. Scotty looks tired and insecure, but heads for the bar and orders a drink. Kevin’s eyes follow him. Something that doesn’t go unnoticed by his friends.
“Wow! Kevin! You do know how to spot a cheap and easy one… Had him recently. Couple of drinks, he went home with me, fucked him senseless.” Richard laughs and there’s a chuckle from the others.
“Who is he? Haven’t seen him before.” Jordan asks.
“Scott … something. He was here that night you had to work to replace Donald… so obviously you didn’t see him.”
“When was that?” Kevin asks.
“A week and half ago. On a Monday night.” Richard grins, looking at Scotty.
“How long ago? Since you lost your partner?”
“Nearly two weeks…"
Kevin remembers how quiet and almost shy Scotty had been and finds it hard to blend his own image of Scotty with Richard’s words.
“This could be fun. Come on.” Richard pulls Kevin in Scotty’s direction and though Kevin tries to stop him, he feels another push in his back from one of his other friends. They are up as well and Kevin feels himself get driven on by the others. Richard leans over the bar and orders a drink and shoves it front of Scotty.
Scotty startles at Richard’s sudden appearance and look up at him, his insecure glance is more familiar to Kevin and Richard’s words still ring false to him.
“Here, drink this. I have a friend who could sure need a hot night with someone as easy as you.” Richard starts.
“I don’t want your drink.” Scotty replies, pushing the drink away.
“That’s not what you said two weeks ago, when you were more than willing to swallow what I had to offer.” The double-entendre of those words make everyone laugh, except Kevin, who can see the mortified look on Scotty’s face and who feels sorry for Scotty.
“Why don’t you leave me alone?” Scotty asks softly. “I’m not interested.”
“Like I said, I have a friend who needs something hot between his sheets for a night….” Kevin shakes his head, embarrassed. Jordan recognizes the growing resentment in Kevin and interferes.
“Come on, Rich, leave the guy alone.”
“No. Why should we deny Kevin his fun? All he needs is to let off some steam and Scott here is the right person to do that with.” Richard laughs and Kevin feels another push in his back. So far, Scotty hadn’t noticed him, but now they are face to face.
“Just get away from me…” Scotty says, pushing Richard’s hand off his arm, but Richard grabs his wrist and pulls him back.
“There’s no reason to be rude.”He warns Scotty and Kevin places himself between Richard and Scotty.
“He’s not interested, let him be.” He orders, but Richard isn’t ready yet to give up.
“Come on, Kevin, he’s just a simple little tramp, give the kid a drink and fuck him.” Kevin turns to Scotty who’s white as a sheet. Kevin places his hand on Richard’s.
“Let... Him.... Go....” Kevin says one more time, this time it's more forceful.
By now, a lot of people have stopped dancing and stare at the group around Scotty. Scotty looks around, there’s an incredible sadness on his face, a degree of rejection that cuts right into Kevin’s heart. Richard releases Scotty’s wrist and Scotty turns around and almost literally flees the bar.
“I’m going after him.” is all Kevin says to Jordan and Jordan nods, turning back to his friends. Jordan is annoyed that an evening, that was supposed to celebrate Kevin’s return to the land of the living, has turned into a disaster. Maybe Kevin had been right all along and it just had been too soon…
“Scotty! Scotty, wait!!” Kevin yells, trying to keep track of Scotty, while he struggles to get out of the bar and has to go against a group of people trying to get into the place. Scotty is taller and has longer legs and it takes all of Kevin’s energy to catch up with him. “Wait, Scotty, please.”
Scotty is already halfway the parking-lot. They have left the music and noise far behind them and the silence is overwhelming.
“Scotty… Please… please stop running away from me…” Kevin nearly begs, he’s more than concerned for this young man, who suddenly stops and turns around.
“What?! .. What do you want from me!... Why don’t you just leave me alone?!” He cries. He looks so distraught that Kevin doesn’t know what to say at first. “I’m not what you looking for. I’m not… what he says I am… I made a mistake! A stupid mistake! I got drunk! I slept with him! Stupid, I know! But that does not make me anyone’s whore!!”
“I never said you were, Scotty.” Kevin holds his hands low in front him. “I am not looking for anyone. I did not want Richard to go after you like that. What you did with whom is none of my business and I am not judging…. I …” Yes, what is he? “…I am just ... concerned about you. You looked so terribly tired when you came in to that bar.
And then Richard made you even more upset, which I did not want him to do, I swear. This is my first real evening out without Tad. My friends just wanted me to have a good time. I guess,… my friends and I have different opinions on the meaning of the word ‘fun’. I didn’t want anyone to put you on display like that.”
Scotty seems to calm down a bit, Kevin can see he’s still trembling and upset, but his breathing is calmer and the sobs are not that loud anymore.
“I don’t … f-feel so g-good.” Scotty suddenly says and Kevin pulls him to the side of the road and holds him while Scotty throws up…
Kevin can feel him shake under the pressure and shiver once he’s done. For a moment he wonders if Scotty is on drugs and going through some withdrawal, but then Scotty sinks down along the wall and sits down on the strret looking really sick.
“My car is over there, you stay here and don’t move…” Kevin orders.
He quickly runs over to his car and grabs a thermos-flask from under his chair, he always keeps some fresh drinking-water in there, in case of an accident or something. And he returns to Scotty and kneels before him.
“Here. Some water. Drink.” Scotty hesitates for a second and then puts the flask to his lips and drinks the water.
It so cool and refreshing and it takes away the bad taste in Scotty’s mouth. Kevin softly rubs his upper-arms, until Scotty motions him to stop doing that.
“Feeling a bit better?” Kevin asks, Scotty nods.
“Thank you..” he whispers.
“How did you get here?”
“Bus. Took the bus… I was tired.. I didn’t want to go home… Just wanted to forget… Shouldn’t have taken that drink on an empty stomach… Stupid.. God, I’m so stupid.” His last words trigger another flood of tears and Kevin starts to feel increasingly concerned. Is this man on the verge of a nervous break-down?
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” Scotty now says, slightly louder. “I c-can’t seem to do a-anything else but c-cry…” He makes himself as little as possible.
“So, you hardly had anything to eat today?” Kevin asks shocked and Scotty shakes his head.
“I borrowed some money from one of my colleagues to pay for the bus… I didn’t eat much at the restaurant… It was so busy and I wasn’t hungry and … the evening passed and I left ... I hardly had a meal.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “…I just didn’t want to go home….”
“Alright, come on. I know a place not very far away from here, where we can eat.”
END OF PART 2