“Scotty will you please marry me.”
Scotty keeps hearing Kevin’s words, but that was last night, when Kevin had been tired, emotionally worn out. But now, it is the next morning and Kevin has had time to sleep and Kevin has had time to think. And Scotty is certain of one thing: in the morning-light, everything will be different. Kevin will come back on his proposal.
Breakfast is almost ready, when Kevin comes into the kitchen.
“Smells good, love.” He says, gently kissing Scotty. “Is it alright if I grab a quick shower? I’ll be done in a few minutes..” he promises. He’s vaguely aware of something being wrong with Scotty, but he’s too sleepy to let it sink in….
Kevin stretches his back under the stream of hot water. This is so much better. He’s feels like he could fly. He still feels that way. He had known it last night, sitting opposite of Scotty, he had dared to admit to himself what he had known all these months. That he was madly, passionately, endlessly in love with Scotty and that he wanted to make Scotty his. He had known beyond any doubt, that he was ready to commit himself to a permanent relationship with that wonderful young man.
He sighs at the thought of Scotty…. This morning…. Strange, come to think of it, Scotty does not seem to be as happy as he’s feeling right now… Scotty had seemed almost afraid…Turning off the water, grabbing a towel, Kevin suddenly gets scared. What if Scotty changed his mind? What if, he doesn’t want to marry Kevin after all? The thought is unsettling. It has taken him every bit of courage to propose to Scotty in the first place.
He sits down opposite of Scotty, as he always does. Takes his coffee and a sandwich as he always does. He looks up at Scotty, to find Scotty staring at his tray, He bites his lip, a sign that he is very nervous. And Kevin is sure of it. Scotty is going to tell him that he changed his mind.
When Scotty looks up, he sees Kevin look away. Kevin is very quiet. It signals Scotty that something is weighing heavy on his mind. And Scotty is sure of it. Kevin is going to tell him that he changed his mind.
Nervously Scotty pours another coffee. He wishes Kevin would talk about something, anything, except this terrible silence.
Kevin wishes he had the nerve to say something, anything, but his throat is dry and he’s scared of the reaction he’ll get.
Scotty feels as if he can’t eat. His nausea gets worse, up to a point that he gets up, leaves the table and goes into the bedroom.
Kevin stares at his tray. Scotty obviously doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, maybe he should help Scotty. If Scotty doesn’t want to bring up the subject, maybe he should…. Get it over with… It’s alright with him if Scotty wants to wait…. As long as Scotty doesn’t break up with him.
Scotty sees Kevin come into the bedroom and he cannot help but look up at him, unable to say a word.
Kevin registers the worried look on Scotty’s face and the pain in his eyes. He looks for words…
A nervous laughter from both of them. Kevin signals Scotty to start..
“Kevin…. You know…. Last night…. these last 2 days were very difficult for you... and you were emotional and ….. With Saul and Ojai, Sarah and Justin, your mother……” Scotty’s voice becomes very little. He hardly dares to speak.
Oh, God, he’s really changed his mind. Is all Kevin could think off.
Scotty looks at Kevin and Kevin looks at him. And slowly it dawns on Scotty what he sees in Kevin’s eyes. Fear. Fear of what? Of him? Of…? His voice is barely a whisper when he says:
“I’d… I’d understand it…. If you changed your mind about it… About the proposal, I mean…..”
“Ch… Changed my mind? .. would you like to me to change my mind? I know, I took you a bit by surprise yesterday, if you had a change of heart?…. If you feel like maybe you’re not ready… I’ll understand… I’ll take it back…. if that is what you want…” Kevin stammers, but Scotty shakes his head.
“I thought it was what you wanted…” he says carefully. “… And I meant what I said the day before yesterday… I am very happy with what we have. You have nothing to prove.”
“I know that, but I am not coming back on my proposal. As I said, I am completely in love with you and I want us to be together. Officially. Unless… you think it’s too fast, too soon… You are younger than me and I surprised you… and all…. But I really thought that this, us getting married, was what you wanted too….“
“It is. I do. I just didn’t believe you would actually ask me and when you did yesterday, I was so happy, but I thought that once you had time to think it over…” Kevin shuts Scotty up with a tender kiss, before he takes Scotty’s face between his hands, letting his thumbs rub Scotty’s cheeks as he forces Scotty to look at him.
“Scotty Wandell, do you want to marry me?” he asks as he looks deep in to Scotty’s eyes.
“Yes.” Scotty replies breathlessly.
“Good, ‘cause I want to marry you.” With that said he kisses Scotty again. Then he lets go of Scotty. “So… How? When? Where? I don’t want to wait too long.”
“Would next Saturday be good enough for you?” Scotty asks, lying down on the bed.
Kevin lies down next to Scotty.
“Would that give you enough time to make it ‘special’ for you? You said you wanted it to be special… anything you want…. Money is not the most important factor.”
Scotty lets the words sink in.
“It is to me. I’m not going to let you pay for everything.”
“Scotty, it will be our money. I plan to share everything with you.”
“Very romantic, but you are a lawyer and I would understand if you wish to protect your own interests. I mean, you bring far more into this then me…. If you want me to sign anything, I will…” But Kevin merely laughs and sits up:
“I know it must be weird coming from a cynic like me, and a lawyer too, but I don’t want to do that. I don’t believe for a single second that you will marry me for my money. You have fought me tooth and nail over every time I tried to pay anything for you.”
“Kev, if anything would go wrong between us…”
“I am not willing to consider what could go wrong between us, before we’re even had our ceremony. I have faith that we can make it. I believe in us.” The simplicity of Kevin’s words touch something deep within Scotty.
“Me too.” He says with a gentle smile.
“So we agree: money is not the problem. Next question would be: where?”
“Couldn’t we have the ceremony here? I don’t wish a big party anyway…”
“We could ask for the winery?”
“Nice, but too far away from some of my friends and a bit too…. Too much?”
“How many people will we invite?”
“Not that many, Just your family, I will ask my parents, but I don’t think they will come. They still have not forgiven me for being gay. A few of my friends….”
“Couple of people I work with…. Thirty people?” Kevin is counting. Scotty nods. “We could ask mom if we could have it at her house….”
“You think she will let us? A few weeks ago she told me about the McCallisters….”
“Yes, but the McCrazies were a stampeding herd, high on artichoke … We have normal friends and colleagues and we keep it small.”
Scotty laughs and interjects:
“Yes, but we will have all the Walkers and Rebecca in one room, mix that with alcohol and anything can happen.” Kevin grins and suggests:
“Shall we invite Holly as well? Fireworks guaranteed!”
“Oh, yes! Exactly what I wanted for my ceremony. My mother-in-law in a catfight with her dead husband’s mistress.”
“Mhmm, with a little luck they end up, soaking wet, in the swimming-pool…. So Dynasty or Dallas, doesn’t get any gayer than that.” The mental image conjured up in Scotty’s mind in enough to make him laugh out loud.
“Ultimately there is only one thing I want that day.” Scotty says.
“What is that?”
“That you are there.” Scotty’s voice is very tender and Kevin almost melts:
“I’ll make a deal with you…. I’ll be there, if you will be there too."
“Deal.” Scotty agrees, wrapping his arms around Kevin.