About: Kevin, Scotty, the Walkers – in one way or another…
Rate: We’ll see per chapter, this one - G
Disclaimer: Brothers & Sisters doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: This is an AU, based on B&S, anything can be different, nothing is as it may seem, and yet, …. (evil chuckle)
For a little moment there’s only silence following Kevin’s words, while everyone look at each other uncomfortably.
“Kevin, is it true, that you’ve known Detective Wandell a lot longer than you pretended? Longer than these last three weeks?” Kitty asks, but Nora is the one who answers.
“Oh, yes, believe it! Kevin even has a copy of his will that stipulates that all his possessions will go to Scotty Wandell, in case something happens to him.. It was signed 4 years ago... They own a house together, not very far away from here, copies of that are amongst those papers too.…I… I went through Kevin’s drawer…” Nora confesses, when she sees everyone looking at her.
“Mom!” Tommy looks shocked. “You can’t do something like that!”
“I agree. And normally I wouldn’t .. but, … when I got here… Everything was wrong..”
“And that gives you the right to go through my stuff?! Give me back my files.” Kevin orders.
His voice is so menacing that Nora nearly flings him the stack of papers, but Kevin catches it and after organizing his papers a bit better, he walks towards his desk and puts all the documents on it. For a moment he remains bend over the desk, his back to everyone. When he turns back to the others he searches for Scotty, who shrugs.
“To answer your question, Kitty. Yes, I met Scotty 15 years ago in high-school. We weren’t close at first, that took a few years of drifting in and out of each other’s lives, through friends, boyfriends. Sometimes we would run into each other on a case and then suddenly, 5 years ago, lightning struck.”
“Why did you never tell us?” Nora asks. “You never let on that you had a boyfriend.”
“Are you crazy?” Kevin replies with a strange harshness. “Dad would have destroyed this relationship, like he ruined so many others.”
“I don’t believe what I’m hearing.” Sarah shakes her head.
“I know you hated your father, but this is ridiculous! How can you say that? This has to be Scotty’s work. You’re not like that.” Nora denies.
“I’m not like what, mom?... Who do you think I am?”
“You’ve always been supportive of this family, you’re sweet and kind and… and … loving and you love us and you can’t be like this.”
“Oh, yes! Kevin the lawyer! Kevin, the problem-solver! I know him! What do you exactly know about Kevin, your son?!”
Nora gives him a non-understanding look and Kevin answers with a hate-torn face:
“I can tell you that. Nothing! You have no idea who I am! What I’m capable of! You don’t know where I’ve been, who and what I’ve seen, what I’ve done. All of you guys have only seen the side that I’ve allowed you and dad to see.
Dependable lawyer, nice suit, fancy car, enough money to spend and uptight. But none of you know me. I’ve been living in two worlds for the last five years, since Scotty and I got into a serious relationship. I couldn’t tell any of you the truth. I never knew if I could trust any one of you with my secret.
Why on Earth do you think I stopped drinking? I couldn’t afford to slip up. I always, always, had to be on my guard. I always had to wear a mask. I could not afford to make a mistake, because one mistake and dad would be on my case like a shark on a drop of blood.
I was in love with a wonderful man, but the moment I shut the door of his place behind me, I had to stop thinking of him, to make sure that no one would notice how happy I was. I’ve had to compartmentalize every aspect of my life, of my feelings, my desires. Weigh every word.
I couldn’t say anything at work, out of fear that it would leak to dad. I quit sports, because I preferred to spend what little private time I had with Scotty. And Scotty too, had to be very careful. We never knew who we could tell about us. One wrong mention and it could lead to any of you or dad finding out.”
“That must have put an enormous strain on you two?” Joe wonders.
“It did…. But it what made it worth it, were the moments that we were together, just the two of us…” Scotty smiles gently.
“Kevin… You could have told us.” Sarah says softly but Kevin laughs sarcastically.
“And run the risk of dad wrecking Scotty’s life? No way!”
“You’re very convinced that dad would have done do that.” Kitty states.
“I was. I know he would have. Because he did it before. I found out years ago that he blackmailed my boyfriends to leave me or he paid them off. That is when I started to keep secrets.”
“I find it hard to believe that father would do that….” Tommy hesitantly says and Kevin’s smile is far from pleasant.
“No, of course not, Tommy, you could never see what was right before your eyes.”
“Aren’t you exaggerating?” Sarah asks.
“Am I? I don’t know. Maybe you should read these.” He hands Sarah 3 letters. “Those are letters to the three companies where you applied for another job. In this letter he explains, that you did not give him as a reference, because you knew, he’d have to tell ‘the truth’, which is that you are incompetent to do the job you’re applying for…”
Sarah shakes her head in disbelief but her face tears up with anger when she quickly reads the letters. There it is, black on white, her father’s signature underneath the letters. The words are lies, but worded gently and caring, as if he did it for the best interest of the company where she had wanted the job and to protect her as well.
“All this hate…. He! He put that in your mind!” Nora screams pointing at Scotty, who shakes his head.
“No, Nora, I didn’t have to. Kevin started to hate William 15 years ago and William had been quite capable to keep that flame burning without my help.”
“Kevin, why did you kill William?” Nora asks and from all directions she hears the shocked gasping.
“What?” Kevin looks at her with disbelief. “Mom, I have an alibi. A good one.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“I beg to differ, Mrs Walker, it means everything.” Scotty replies carefully. Nora focuses on Scotty now.
“Yes, and I bet you instructed him well.”
“Me?” Scotty’s smile is insecure.
“Yes. You. If it is all true, Kevin, that you hated him for so long, then why now, Kevin? What could have triggered you to do this…. To kill him.” Nora asks again.
“I didn’t kill him…” Kevin denies again. “I didn’t pull the trigger on him any more than he put a noose around Jason McCallister’s neck.”
“Jason McCallister, my younger brother.” Robert replies. “He killed himself 6 months ago. By hanging himself.” Everyone’s stares go from Robert to Kevin to Scotty and back to Robert as if to try and find out what they are missing.
“And Robert found out that dad was the driving force behind a smear-campaign that drove Jason to the act. And that Kevin found about it, a few days after Jason’s suicide. Which is probably the reason why the relationship between dad and Kevin deteriorated even further from that point on.” Kitty explains softly.
“But it’s my fault Jason died.” Justin suddenly cries out. "It’s all my fault.” Distracted, everyone look at him
“And how did you figure that one out?” Kevin asks guarded.
"Jason was also a friend of mine,” Justin starts. “Several months ago I started going to NA meetings and there I got to know another man about my age. His name is Jordan.
Jordan had problems with drugs, but had been clean for a while and that is what I wanted as well. Jordan introduced me to Jason, to get spiritual help. Jason believed that you could empower yourself through prayer…. And I was more than willing to try… God knows, I needed to boost my self-esteem…. But I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stay clean. I kept falling back on drugs to help me….
And then Jason killed himself and I felt like I had lost a friend, an important ally…. But time went on and yesterday Jordan called me, asking me if I wanted to help him move some boxes that belonged to Jason. I think, he planned to contact you on them, Robert…. And amongst the objects in the boxes I found his diary…”
“His diary?” Robert asks astounded, Sarah hands him the notebook,
“He explains why he came to his act…. It’s heart-breaking and devastating…” Sarah says. “… I’m sorry I read it, it wasn’t my business, but Justin was so upset over it and I didn’t understand what he was talking about….”
“Jason was one of the kindest and gentlest souls I’ve ever met.” Kevin says with tears in his eyes. “He always believed in the goodness of people first, believed we should see them for what was positive in them, instead of what was negative… He didn’t own much, felt that personal possessions where holding you back from working for God.”
Robert smiles sadly, remembering the many arguments he had had with this brother on this topic and when his eyes meet Kevin’s he knows his shares a loss with Kevin.
“Jason, however, had one … flaw… He was gay. And he couldn’t deal with it. He didn’t want to know, didn’t want to accept, but knew he was….
He was convinced that … that… his homosexuality was God’s way of testing him… To see if he could handle the harshness of life.….”
“And it’s my fault he’s dead.” Justin sobs
“Why?” Robert asks confused.
“He wrote in his diary that he had realized he had fallen in love…. That was around the time he met me….”
“Justin, you really didn’t read the rest, did you?” Sarah asks.
“No.” Justin shakes his head.
“He wasn’t in love with you, but with another man. A man he couldn’t have because that man was in love with someone else.” Sarah explains and Justin looks at her with relief, but also disbelief.
“It’s true, Justin.” Scotty now says. “Jason was in love with Kevin.”
“What?!” Kitty turns to Kevin. “You and Jason…?”
“Nothing ever happened between him and me… I was in love with Scotty and Jason respected my feelings. He never tried to come between us, or make life more complicated for us. He took the secret of our relationship with him into the grave.
Scotty and I trusted very few people with our secret. But Jordan was an old friend of Scotty’s, who knew Scotty better than anyone else, we couldn’t keep our love a secret from him. When he befriended Jason and Jason helped him kick his drug-addiction, Jason became our friend as well. He became another person we trusted unconditionally.
So, his death was hard for both Scotty and me, and I knew it was tough for Justin as well. But I couldn’t tell Justin that I knew about his relationship to Jason, because Jordan and Jason were so determined to keep Scotty and me separated from their friendship to Justin, that they never told Justin that they knew me.
None of us went to Jason’s funeral. Due to all the secrets we had to keep, we couldn't even mourn him properly… And then, a few days after Jason’s funeral, I found out that dad was responsible for Jason’s death and I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t understand why. Why would he hurt Jason for helping Justin? So, eventually, I confronted him on it…”
“Why did he do it?” Robert asks, seeing no one and nothing else than Kevin only… “What could have been so bad that William felt Jason deserved to be ruined?”
“Justin’s didn’t succeed to stay off the drugs… One night things got really tough for him and Jason got really worried and called me.
I told him to meet me at the loft, unaware that dad had listened in…. Dad told me that after my mysterious phone-call he followed me to my loft, saw Jason enter my place and saw him leave it one hour later, where we parted with a hug… Nothing more, I swear! A hug….
That’s when dad assumed Jason was my boyfriend and he took immediate action to make sure that I would not ‘shame’ him and our family with my ‘unnatural’ desires….”
Kevin chokes up and Scotty puts an arm around him and, strengthened by his lover's touch, Kevin continues:
“He called Jason a loser for killing himself, stating that if Jason had been a man, he would have fought like one. He just couldn’t understand that Jason was man, a bigger man than William would ever be. But Jason fought a mighty demon that was his religion versus his homosexuality and it was a battle he ended up losing, because William gave him the final tackle..
And he could have dealt with the gossip about his homosexuality, but not with fact that people actually believe he’d hurt a child…. I have to admit, William really knew what Jason’s weak spot would be and used it against Jason in a most terrible way.” Kevin’s too choked up to continue talking and Scotty picks up the story.
“Kevin confronted William here in this loft, while I was in the bedroom. I was here to make sure that Kevin wouldn’t do anything stupid… I heard everything William said... He pushed somebody to suicide and was so condescending about it. If ever I believed that Kevin exaggerated when he said that William would destroy us, I didn’t doubt him anymore.”
“So, that’s the reason you killed William?” Nora asks Kevin, but Kevin shakes his head.
“I didn’t kill him. I was at a party. Surrounded by people who knew me and some who don’t. None of them has a reason to lie for me. I did not pull the trigger on dad.” Kevin replies calmly.
“No. But you have a perfect alibi. You knew what would happen. You knew that you had to stay at that party longer than the others and talk with everyone, so they’d remember you. But… where were you on the night my father got killed, detective Wandell?” Justin suddenly asks.
For a moment there’s fear in Kevin’s eyes but Scotty leans back against the door and merely smiles.
“I don’t need an alibi. No one can tie me to this case as a suspect. William’s rather offensive remark at the restaurant was embarrassing, but not a reason for murder.”
“But, they can now.” Nora replies. “You and Kevin confessed to having a relationship of 5 years. There’s the copy of the will to prove it. And I’m sure that if Parks starts to look for evidence, he’ll find it, because there’s no way that you keep it a secret from everyone, all the time. People other than Jason and Jordan must have known... seen... heard something.
You had a stake in this. You wanted Kevin. And you believed you couldn’t get him as long as William was alive…. ” Nora says. “I’m calling Detective Parks.”
“NO!” It’s nothing more than a squeak that escapes Kevin’s lips.
“I have to, Kevin.” Nora says.
“You can’t. You’ll kill me if you send him away. I love him.” Kevin’s voice is just a whisper.
“I’m sorry, Kevin. But Scotty killed William and he’ll go to prison for it.” Nora clutches her phone.
There’s a slight panic and indecisiveness running through the room, but then Robert interferes.
“If you call Detective Parks, I will make sure that not only Scotty, but also Kevin will get the best legal representation that money can buy.
And believe me, they will not leave one stone unturned. Every shady deal, every embezzlement, any action William ever made, even the tiniest mistake, will become public knowledge. I will find his mistress and let her tell her story. I will completely destroy William Walker’s reputation, like he destroyed Jason’s.
And I won’t let anything stop me. And if this means taking Ojai down to accomplish this, then I will. By the time I’ll be done, everyone will spit out William Walker’s name.”
If he had yelled or been furious, it would not have made the same spine-chilling impact as it did now, now that he was calm and very much in control.
Nora stares at him in complete shock. Can he do this? How could he?
“William,… Kitty’s father…. Is dead.” She stammers.
“Whoa, wait a minute.” Scotty stops Robert. “I respect that you’re furious, there’s no denying that William played a dirty trick on Jason.
But these people have suffered enough because of William. There’s no reason to punish Kevin, Tommy, Sarah, Kitty or Justin for what he did. Above all, Jason would not want you to do this either. He loved Kevin, he would never want to see Kevin hurt, and if you destroy Kevin’s family, than you’ll hurt Kevin.”
Robert hesitates under Scotty’s words and Nora starts punching in the number for the police-station when Julia yanks the telephone from her hands.
“No.” Julia says. “I’m not going to let you do this.”
“That man killed my husband.”
“Oh, And so now you feel the need the grow a spine?” Julia asks Nora.
“Jules!” Tommy is shocked by his wife’s reaction.
“Let me tell you one thing, Thomas Walker, if you support your mother in destroying Kevin, then it will be the last time you’ll see me.
Because, I’ll finish what I started a week before the murder. I’ll finish packing my bags and I’ll leave. Don’t think that I’m going for some idle threat, because I’m not.I’m nine weeks pregnant….” She blurts out, making Tommy gasp in astonishment. “And, do you know what I felt when I left the doctor’s office four weeks ago?
I felt sick! Sick at the idea that that man, William Walker, was going to be a part of our lives. We’ve been together for a few years and I’ve tried to be a good wife, I’ve tried to support you, boost your morale, I’ve picked you up every time William put you down. But I knew I couldn’t go on like this.
I am expecting a baby. My child. Our child. And I love you. I love you so much, it hurts to do this, but my primary goal now is to protect my baby. And I’m going to do a far better job at it than she did!” Julia points at Nora, who is too shocked to even be insulted by her daughter-in-law’s words.
Stunned Sarah turns around to find Joe, who raises his hands.
“Don’t worry, I’m not pregnant….. But I do agree with Julia.. What good would it do to ruin Kevin? Kevin and his friend did what we all thought of and fantasized about. Nobody in this room can say that they honestly loved William.
Sure, he was your father, but if you look deep in your heart then you will have to admit that you hated him too. What happened was inevitable. Sooner or later one of us would have snapped. If it wouldn’t have been Justin, it would have been Kitty or Julia or maybe even you... or me…
I usually don’t believe that murder should go unpunished, but Kevin already had his punishment. Years of emotional isolation. Which is something that not only he, but you and your other siblings suffer from as well. You always dreamed of a closed-knit family, but you guys could never be, because William would always come between you.
He would rather pit Tommy and you against each other, than have you work together. He made sure that, as much as everyone ran to Kevin for help, at the same time no one completely trusted him, because of the judicial confidence between him and William…” Joe sees Kevin nod from the corner of his eye. “Your father never did anything good for any of you.”
“He was their father…” Nora repeats again. Kitty nods.
“I agree. He was. Unless there’s something we should know, no one is denying it. But, honestly? Has anyone of us really suffered because of his death? I don't think so.
We've all felt stronger, more motivated and, dare I say, happier now that he's no longer with us. The only thing that bugged me was not knowing why dad had been killed and maybe the fear that we would targets as well.... But now that I know... I don't know. Call me selfish, but...
Robert and I had been close for a few weeks prior to father’s death. And …. I had no idea how to tell father about Robert and me… I was so in love and I couldn’t say anything…. We’re both public people… It would have come out sooner or later… And of course, I doubt there’s little dad could have done against Robert… but I’ve tried these last few minutes to put myself in Kevin’s place.
To not be able to even enjoy the feeling of being in love…. It’s awful.... I’ve hid the secret for a few weeks and it was so depressing, I can’t even imagine how he must have been able to handle it for 5 years….
How ironic… I’ve always been so proud of how brave Kevin was to be so openly gay and out… And at the same time I never saw how deeply we kept him in the closest by not allowing him to be who he is, with the man he wants to be with… T
his is just as much our fault as dad’s…. Kevin is our brother, he was always there for us when we needed him… Then he needed us…. And we weren’t there… because he couldn’t trust us…
Because as much as we hated dad, …. We would rather cower behind dad, then stand up for Kevin.” Kitty sighs and shakes her head. "I'm so sorry, Kevin."
Silence reigns after Kitty's words and for a moment everyone is in their own thoughts… Kevin’s hand slips into Scotty’s… It’s no longer a secret…. By now, they must all know what Scotty what did.
But can they really know what it was like? How Kevin had felt, when he gave Scotty the key to Ojai? How scared they both had been? How Kevin sat there, at the party, with the phone in his hand, ready to tell Scotty not to do it, but that he never called? How Scotty had changed his mind at every of the countless steps, that it had taken him walk up to William’s office?
How, unlike Scotty had expected, there was no relief when he saw William sink to the ground? How much he had needed Kevin’s comfort in those days after the murder, but knew he couldn’t get it, while at the same time seeing Kevin’s frustration at wanting to give support, but being equally unable to give it?
Scotty squeezes Kevin’s hand a bit and Kevin answers with a little courageous smile. And just as Kevin is about to say something, Tommy’s voice breaks the silence.
“Kit is right. So is Jules. And Joe…. We can’t tell anyone about this.”
“He killed William!” Nora reminds them once again.
“William killed Jason.” Robert equally needs to remind everyone.
“It will destroy Kevin if this gets out.” Tommy shakes his head.
“Kevin has an alibi. Scotty will be the one going to prison.” Nora persists, trying to keep the two of them apart as if there’s no connection, but Justin won’t accept it.
“Mom! What Kevin and Scotty have is not some 3-week old fling, they have an 5 year old relationship, that had to be kept so secret that not even an dear friend of mine dared to talk to me, about my own brother, out of fear over what my father would do. How much more ridiculous can our family get?”
“Your father l-l-loved all of you.. He loved me…” Nora tries, not very convincingly.
“Yes, mom,” Tommy suddenly sarcastically reacts. “He loved us all so much that he rather destroyed us than build us up. And as for his love you? Come on, mom. Do you really believe that any of us still believes in that fairy-tale life of yours? Keep that for your stupid friends, who are sweet to your face and laugh behind your back about your ignorance....
Dad loved you so much that he screwed another woman right under your nose, because he knew, that you were so lost in your own image of a perfect little world, that he didn’t even have to bother to do it behind your back!”
“That’s one way of putting it.” Joe comments quietly.
Nora backs away as if someone just hit her. With a trembling voice she asks:
“So, you’re all just going to … pretend?’… this hasn’t happened?”
“Mom, we’ve been pretending for years.” Sarah replies.
“We’ve all become masters at fooling ourselves and those around us. We learned from the best. You and dad.” Justin shrugs.
“What is one more secret in this family?” Tommy wonders. “Jules?”
“I will stand by my man in this one.” Julia answers, blushing when Tommy lets his hand caress her belly. “I have to think about our baby. Can’t handle the extra stress.”
“Robert, Jason is dead. My father is dead. Can we draw the line there? I don’t want to lose you.” Kitty says quietly. “Can we go on somehow?”
“Kitty, I loved you before I knew who your father was and what he had done to my brother. Scotty was right. We have all suffered in one way or another from William’s actions.
Jason did always believe in the good of people and he would be the last person to demand vengeance. And the first to wish us happiness. William is dead… Let it end there.” Robert says. Sarah merely looks at Joe, who wraps his arms around her, they silently reach an agreement.
Worried Scotty looks from one person to the other, until Robert walks up to him.
“Detective Wandell… I wish you and Kevin good luck and happiness… Though… perhaps a three week courtship is too short to have a commitment ceremony already. May I suggest waiting another few months, before you … tie the knot.
You two will appear more serious about it and it won’t raise eyebrows and make people ask questions?” He says with a nod of understanding and Scotty breathes out, giving him a little smile.
“Congratulations on your engagement.” Kitty hugs Kevin first and then, after a little hesitation, she steels herself and hugs Scotty as well.
“Congratulations, Tommy, Julia… Oh, we so needed some good news…” Sarah kisses Julia on both cheeks. Meanwhile Justin walks over to Kevin and hugs his brother.
“I’m sorry, Justin, for all the lies, please, don’t be mad at Jordan. He just tried to protect Scotty.” Kevin whispers in Justin’s ear and Justin nods that he understands.
Suddenly it seems like everyone goes mad, trying to congratulate Kevin, Scotty, Julia and Tommy… There’s an explosion of noise and laughter and chatter until one voice finally rises above it. It’s Nora’s voice. She still stands in the same spot, looking bewildered at the scene before her.
“Are you all completely out of your minds?! … Regardless of our personal feelings, a murder has been committed…. My husband… Your father… By Scotty… Are you seriously asking me to look away? Pretend it never happened? To embrace into this family the man who killed William…?” She asks.
END OF PART 8