About: Kevin, Scotty, Chad, Jason and Alex
Disclaimer: I don’t own Brothers and Sisters, but Alex Grodin is a figment of MY own sick mind.
Summary: The boys realize that they need to talk. Resistance is futile.
Writer's note: It helps if you know my series: Happy now? and Last Christmas
Alex blinks against the soft light. This is the third time he wakes up, but the first time, he sees someone beside his bed.
“Hi there. Trying to wake up..? Don’t try too hard, honey… They’ll be keeping you asleep until you’re back in prison..”
The voice isn’t cruel, but just stating a fact. Alex feels desperate. He had not succeeded at putting an end to his life, he knows he’ll be watched closely, he’ll never get out of prison again, not after what he just did and, worst of all, he lost Kevin and that last part leaves a bigger hole in his chest than anything else could.
He closes his eyes, but then the voice returns.
“You are one lucky bastard, you know. Not only that they found you on time, but those four men you terrorized… they actually came to see you.”
“Wanted to make sure I was dead?” Alex mumbles, his throat aches and his lips are dry.
“Nope. They were concerned. Oh, not so much about you, but about their friend and how he would take the news of what you had done. One of them even kissed your forehead…”
“Dark hair, pretty blue eyes… Very polite.”
“Must have been the minister…” Alex fights his sleep.
“Nah, that was the one I was talking to, had the same last name as that Senator. No, he wasn’t a minister, but he could have been, if you had seen the way he kissed you, like he was giving you his blessing.” She still cackles at her joke, when she leaves Alex alone.
Alex drifts in and out of sleep, until his eyes suddenly open wide. His blessing?! The nurse’s words are seeping through and start to make sense. Kevin came to see him… To see if he was alright… Kevin still cared about him… Tears of joy fill his eyes.
Kevin kissed him… Like a blessing. He did the right thing… He was finally redeemed…. Kevin forgave him… Maybe Kevin even still loves him… Why else would he have been here? Only because he finally understood how much Alex loves him… They will be back together… One day... And with a smile of happiness he slips back into sleep.
Scotty wakes up because someone yanks his arm. He opens his eyes and sees Chad before him, but before he can ask anything, Chad signals him to stay quiet and yanks his arm again to get out of bed. Confused Scotty gets out of bed, glad that he woke up during the night and had put on some pyjama-trousers, so that he isn’t naked now.
Just as Scotty wants to ask what is going on, Chad turns him around and pulls him away from the bed. Jason stands there with a bucket of cold water that he merciless empties over Kevin’s sleeping form. With a loud scream of terror Kevin sits up.
“That was payback for yesterday-morning.” Jason laughs.
“Jason McCallister, you’re a dead man!” Kevin growls, throwing the wet sheets and blankets aside and going into pursuit of the man who so rudely woke him up and then ran off. Chad and Scotty are both laughing out loud and Chad hiccups:
“When do you think he’ll realize that he’s naked?”
Before Scotty can answer, Kevin angrily walks back into the room, picks up his pants off the floor and hops around until he’s has them on, only to disappear out of view again with a vindictive look at Chad and Scotty, who have tears of laughter on their faces.
“Why did you wake me up first?” Scotty now asks.
“Jason had planned to wake both of you up like that, but when Kevin told him last night that it was all his idea, he saw no reason to ‘punish’ you….”
“How sweet of him… Everything is wet…”
“Ah, don’t worry about it. There’s a cleaning crew coming in, right after we leave this afternoon. I won’t be back in this place for a few months, so everything gets checked. You know, fridge emptied, bins cleaned, all of those things. Alice and a few of her friends have been doing this for ages… So just leave it up to them…” Chad winks. “Meanwhile, why don’t we prepare the breakfast-table and stop Kevin from strangling Jason….”
TWO WEEKS LATER:
When he puts down the phone, Scotty is surprised by how easy his conversation with Chad went. He used to feel a bit weird about talking to either Chad or Jason. A part of him just wanted to dislike Kevin’s exes, no questions asked, but they just weren’t the kind of men to dislike.
And since those few days they had spent together, there’s an even stronger sense of friendship.
“Who was that on the phone?” Kevin asks, drying his hair with a towel.
“Chad. He and Jason found out where that barn is… Wondered if we wanted to come along.”
Kevin lowers his hands and tries to figure out of Scotty likes the idea or not.
“I don’t know. Do you?” he asks, when he isn’t sure.
“I don’t know either… Things are good, Alex is fading away, much easier than the first time, maybe because I didn’t go through the same fear of being murdered, as I had the first time.
But maybe also because, the first time, I just tried to forget and not talk about it, and now I immediately called my shrink, immediately dealt with my fear and my emotions. I wasn’t going to wait around again and the days we spent together helped too… Chad and Jason helped me and I feel … obliged… to be there for them. They are …. my friends?”
“I absolutely agree. I just don’t want to stir any bad memories in you.”
“I’ll be fine, I promise,… can I call Chad back and ask him to pick us up next Saturday?”
“Fine with me. Let’s do this.”
Chad opens the barn and enters first. He’s followed by Scotty and Kevin. Jason can only follow after having taken a deep breath and suppress the desire to run away and hide. It is still dark and the stench is still very strong.
“This is where he kept you two?” Scotty asks shocked.
“Yes, and Jason even longer than me.” Chad replies. Kevin shivers as the cold wind seems to go right through his coat.
“The draft was pretty bad.. Especially along the wall… He kept me shackled up there…” Jason points to the wall. “And it was so cold at first… and then I couldn’t feel it anymore.”
“The doctors at the hospital said that the chill also helped to numb Jason’s pain.” Chad says quietly.
“Where were you?” Kevin now asks and Chad points it out to him. As Kevin follows Chad, Scotty stays behind with Jason.
“Are you okay, Jason? Can you handle it?... I’ll go outside with you, if you want….”
“No… No, I’m fine… It’s just … it all looks so different, less scary, in the light of day and when I’m not having anything to restrain me.” He can’t help but scratch his wrists again and Scotty takes Jason’s hands into his own to stop him from doing so.
“Sorry, it’s just an unconscious move. I, half the time don’t even realize I’m doing it again… I just feel them… And I want to take them off me.” “I know. I used to have that chopping vegetables, somehow the feeling of those knives in my hand, just woke up my rage and my … inability to let go… I wanted to chop him up, for making me feel so helpless.”
“Helpless, yes, that pretty much describes it. I couldn’t fight, I was terrified, there was no way I could defend myself…. Helpless…” Jason stares at the ring, where the shackles had been tied to, and he fights this sudden urge to throw up. His hand covers his mouth and then he feels two arms around him, soothing him.
“I shouldn’t let it get to me.” He whispers. “It’s over… It’s done. I’m free, I’m alive, the one who did this is safely in prison… I….”
“… All you can do is take it one day at a time.” Is all Scotty can advice him.
“I know.” There’s a little smile showing on Jason’s face and Scotty replies to it.
“Shall we join the other two?” and he guides Jason away from the place where Jason had been hurt so deeply.
“Oh, hey. I was just telling Kevin that it now all seems so … little. That night, it seemed like that barn would go on forever….” Chad says quietly.
“That is not so strange. We were alone in the dark, having nothing much to focus on…”
“…. Except that stupid phone… I had memorized the way… see how the hay curves up there and I knew I had seen it between here and that curve… That was all I could focus on…. But it all seems so endless then…” Chad sighs.
Jason gives him a little kiss on the back of his neck.
“I’m eternally grateful that you did this for me, and you, although you were in a lot of pain. You were the one that kept my hope up.”
“You were my reason to go on.”
They stand together, the four of them in huge barn, looking around them. Kevin and Scotty trying to imagine the fear of dying and the will to live, Chad and Jason trying to fit their views into the reality as they experienced it, until Jason shivers from the cold.
“Shall we go? I don’t want to dwell on the past. I’ve seen it now. In broad daylight and untied. It’s fine with me. I’m out of here.”
“Coming with you.” Scotty says and Chad and Kevin follow them, somewhat slower…
Outside the sun stings their eyes, the air is cold and fresh and smells wonderful after the barn. The four men walk back to Chad’s car and get in. It’s warmer there and Chad turns on the heating in the car to get the temperature back up. He watches in the rear-view mirror and sees Kevin and Scotty share a smile.
When he looks to his right side he sees Jason fumble with the safety belt and he takes his own belt and clicks it locked. He starts his car and as he watches the distance grow between the barn and the car he realizes that they are safe, but not unscarred. They are however certainly able to heal from this point on.