About: Kevin, Scotty, Chad, Jason
Disclaimer: I don’t own Brothers and Sisters, but Alex Grodin is a figment of MY own sick mind.
Summary: The boys realize that they need to talk. Resistance is futile.
Writer's note: It helps if you know my series: Happy now? and Last Christmas
“Smells good.” Chad says, coming in the kitchen.
“Already here?” Kevin raises an eyebrow. Chad knows that Kevin is joking, but answers anyway.
“Yes, not by my own choice,… things are still tough on Jason… don’t tease him about it.”
“We get it.” Scotty says quietly.
“I know you would… I guess it’s easy to say that we let things go, but it’s in all the smaller details that we notice that we haven’t.” Chad sigh.
“Words of wisdom.” Kevin smiles.
“Yes, sometimes I think that Jason hasn’t quite left the barn yet.. That a part of him is still there, where we left it.”
“Have you ever thought of going back to it?”
“Wouldn’t even know where it is.”
“Police would know. I’m sure that, between Jason and you there’s enough clout to make the whereabouts known.” Scotty listens quietly to the conversation between Kevin and Chad.
“And even then I wonder if taking Jason there would be a smart idea.”
“I know my own feelings when I faced Alex in the hospital, saw you flinch when you entered the kitchen here…. I don’t think that Jason could handle it.”
“I couldn’t handle what?” Jason asks.
Chad looks appropriately ‘busted’, but then answers in all honesty.
“We just talked about leaving things behind us, Alex in particular, and about the barn and maybe revisiting that place…. I don’t think you’d be ready for that last option.”
“I don’t know. I could ask Robert to find out where it was, if the police won’t answer.”
Jason is very matter-of-factly about it and, once he realizes that his friends are a bit surprised by this, he continues: “I know, that saying it has ended is not the solution, but Scotty gave me the number of his shrink. I’m ready to admit that it had a bigger impact that I previously wanted to believe and I’m ready to deal with it…”
“Good for you, Jason.” Chad agrees “And now, let’s put the focus on Kevin and Scotty again…” he teases lightly, knowing he’s starting a more difficult question: “What exactly happened here in the kitchen? Neither of you ever really filled us in.”
“Not much to tell. Kevin got me out of the house and then shot Alex in self-defense.”
“Ahm… It wasn’t exactly self-defense.” Kevin protest.
“Had to be. Uncle said that you two fought over the gun when it went off.”
“I don’t want to bother anyone with the details…” Kevin waves it away.
“Bother us.” Jason orders and Chad and Scotty agree.
“You haven’t even told me what happened exactly.” Scotty eventually says and Kevin gives in.
“I know, sweetheart, it’s just… There isn’t much to tell. Once you left, I asked him what our future would be like.
Then I played a guilt-trip on him, asking him if he ever considered my feelings, he had his light-bulb moment when he realized that I am in love with you, Scotty. He got mad and pointed the gun at me. So, I called his bluff and told him to shoot me.”
“What?!” Scotty’s eyes become wide with surprise.
“He didn’t want to do that. That’s when I grabbed the gun and put it against my own head.”
“No!” Kevin ignores Scotty’s exclamation and goes on.
“He tried to stop me, we fought over the gun and it accidentally went off. End of story.”
He sees three pair of eyes stare at him in disbelief.
“You put a gun against it your head? … A loaded gun?” Jason asks. “Are you insane?”
“I realize it was theatrical, but…”
“Kevin! That was not theatrical, that was plain stupid. Anything could have happened.”
“But nothing happened, Chad….” Kevin defends himself. At that moment Scotty, looking rather pale, steps in.
“You could have killed yourself! You could have died!”
“Ahm, Jason, maybe we should…” Chad points at the door.
Jason nods, getting up, taking his bread and coffee with him as he follows Chad to the living-room.
“They are so going to fight over this…” are the last words from Chad they hear.
“No, ‘they’ won’t.” Kevin yells at Chad trough the closed door.
“Oh, yes, ‘they’ will.” Scotty replies angrily as he gets up. “Have you completely lost it? ‘Theatrical’? You nearly killed yourself!”
“You were already out the door, I had nothing left to worry about. You were safe!”
“No! I was not ‘safe’!” Scotty nearly spits out the last word.
“I was right there! Outside! Feeling like a loser for not standing up for the man I love. And I knew that getting me out of here was your biggest concern, that it was more likely that he’d shoot me… It was the best decision, but not the easiest! … God! Do you have any idea how I felt when you sent me away?
We couldn’t even say a proper goodbye! We couldn’t even have a last kiss! All I remember is his victorious face and his smug smile…. That would have been my last memory of you, Kevin, if you had killed yourself!”
“But, sweetie, I’m right here, nothing happened.” Kevin knows that these are the wrong words the moment they leave his mouth.
“How can you say that?! You could have killed yourself.”
“You knew it could happen, when you left. You knew Alex could shoot me.” Scotty gives Kevin an astounded look and it takes him a couple seconds to analyze the thought that comes up at Kevin’s words.
“No, that’s not true.” He says, his eyes wet with tears, he doesn’t want to cry. “Alex was completely mesmerized by you. He would never have hurt you. He was so totally and endlessly in love with you, that it was embarrassing to watch. I did not want to see it, but he was so in love with you, killing you would have been the death of him.
And he wanted to live, with you…. You were his dream come true. No, he would never have killed you… I thought, that with me gone you could talk him into turning himself in. I was a threat to him and his dream of the two of you together, so I had to get out, but you… I trusted you to talk him out of the house, not to leave this world without me.”
“I made him promise that he would leave you alone, that he wouldn’t come after you…”
“I don’t care … Without you, going on living will be pointless. I could never love another man the way I love you.” Finally Scotty can no longer hold back the tears and he sits down at the table and covers his face with his hands.
Immediately, Kevin sits down beside him, to wrap an arm around him and hold him tight.
“I’m sorry, baby… I’m so sorry… It wasn’t all that easy… I had to give you time to escape, to get help, to find a safe place, to go the police. So I argued with him and tried to hold his attention, but…
I couldn’t pretend that I wanted to be with him. That’s when he realized that he had made a mistake by letting you go…. Called you a ‘bargaining tool’… I panicked. I wasn’t sure, that he wouldn’t kill me… and all I could think of was how I could protect you from this madman. I was afraid that if he’d shoot me, he’d go after you and kill you too.
And I couldn’t live .. or die… knowing that I had your death on my conscience. I knew that calling his bluff was stupid, but I only wanted one thing… For you to live. All I could think of was you…” Kevin kisses Scotty’s hair. “I love you. Only you. So very, very much.” He whispers and he holds Scotty close and waits for him to calm down.
Their lips meet, briefly, for Scotty pulls away from the kiss.
“I thought… I believed… That you got shot trying to protect yourself from getting shot. And suddenly you tell me, that you could have put a bullet in your head and the only who could try to stop you was Alex…”
“I know, not much of a hero, huh?”
“I didn’t need a hero, I needed you. I still need you. Every day.” Scotty confesses softly.
“What if I promise you, I’ll never do it again….” Kevin offers with a little grin and Scotty cannot help but laugh carefully.
“Better not. I don’t know what I would do if that man escaped again. Please, tell me that he doesn’t have some evil twin somewhere?”
“I don’t know. I’ve had some weird friends in the past.” Kevin jokes. “Sweetie, it’s over. We’re both safe and Alex will soon be just a black page in history…”
They hold each other for a quite a while. They are both quiet and lost in their own thoughts until Scotty suggests:
“Why don’t we try find Jason and Chad…”
“Yes, they will be worried about us...” Kevin replies, but when he flings open the door he sees Chad and Jason in each other’s arms. “.. Or not.”
END OF PART 14