About: Chad/Jason, Jordan
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything
Extra: This an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so remember : The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are part 01, part 02, part 03, part 04, part 05, part 06, part 07, part 08, part 09, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28, part 29, part 30, part 31, part 32, part 33, part 34, part 35, part 36, part 37, part 38, part 39, part 40, part 41, part 42, part 43, part 44, part 45, part 46, part 47, part 48, part 49, part 50, part 51, part 52, part 53, part 54, part 55, part 56, part 57, part 58, part 59, part 60, part 61, part 62, part 63, part 64, part 65, part 66, part 67, part 68. part 69, part 70, part 71, part 72, part 73, part 74, part 75, part 76, part 77, part 78, part 79, part 80, part 81, part 82, part 83, part 84, part 85, part 86, part 87, part 88, part 89, part 90, part 91, part 92, part 93, part 94 and part 95
HALFWAY JUNE 2008
When Chad arrives at Robert’s ranch there’s only a note on the slightly open door.
“Sorry, I’ll be right back. Wait for me in the living-room? – Kitty.” Chad sighs and he goes in. He knows the house a bit by now, having been here a few times with Jason. For a moment, the memory makes him sad.
He’s reminded of how nervous he was to come here, the first time, with Jason. He was sure Robert would shoot him secretly and then hide his body somewhere on the ranch, to never be found again….but Robert only showed a gun-collection behind glass. It is weird, he almost expects, at any moment, he could be face to face with …
“Jason?” he asks, immediately recognizing his former lover, though Jason’s back is turned to him. Jason turns around, startled.
“Chad! What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to Kitty.” Chad replies. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Malaysia?”
“I…. I came back.”
“Obviously. You’re here….” Chad answers dryly. “But why? The school and church would take months to build. It’s why you dumped me.”
“That was not the reason why. I had a lot of …. Issues.”
“Had?” There’s so much sarcasm in that one word that Jason feels hurt.
“Oh, come on. That’s unfair… I’m trying…”
“Unfair? You told me you wanted to be with me, that you loved me and then suddenly you find out that I’m inconvenient to your cause and you pack your bags and leave?
You never even give me a bit of warning, that you had doubts about your relationship with me. Or at least the relationship I thought we had, until you told me, out of the blue, we never had one to begin with…. Do you seriously want to talk to me about the word ‘unfair’… I’d really think it over twice, if I were you.”
“I know and I’m so sorry about what I did to you. It wasn’t until I was in Malaysia that I realized… how much I need you, how important you are to me. And what an idiot I had been to let you go. I saw a problem arise and dealt with it in a way, I believed, to be the best for both of us, but I was wrong, because I never considered your feelings.
And I never took into account, that if we had talked, we could have come to other options. I only saw that one option and I took it. I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I can only hope you can forgive me… and maybe give me another chance….” Jason just opts for a friendship, 'knowing' that Chad is involved with Jordan.
Chad, still in shock over suddenly seeing Jason, forgets about his supposed relationship with Jordan and lets his guard down.
“Another chance at what? To tear my heart out? To fake loving me, so you can use me? You only used me as a ‘safe place’ to hide for your family.
That you could have sex with me for free must have been heck of a beneficial point, considering how inexperienced you were. But do you seriously believe I will let you do this to me again? I don’t think so.
If you want to have something you can fuck at your own leisure and then turn on or turn off at any moment convenient to you, you get yourself a goddamn porn-catalogues and your order yourself some help there. ….
But you cannot do that with me. I am a human being. And your know what? I can get hurt. I GOT HURT. By you. And it’s not going to happen again, just because you had yourself an epiphany of some sort. Is that understood?” Jason takes a step back, stunned by Chad’s words, but then his own hurt flares up.
“Oh, wow! … Now that we have discussed the topic of ‘unfair’, can we talk about ‘hypocrisy’? Because how am I supposed to take your outcry of a ‘torn-out’ heart very seriously, if you can’t even wait until I’m on my way to Malaysia to hop into bed with Jordan? At least I didn’t sleep with anyone else.
I slept alone all these nights, dreaming about you, longing for you, needing you and feeling miserable because I missed you 24 hours a day, while you completely forgot about me, to start another relationship with someone else as if I never existed. So maybe you’re not much better than me and you weren’t too serious about us either.”
They stand opposite each other, both angry and hurt, but not incapable of seeing that pain in each other. Jason starts to doubt, Chad starts to realize how well acted Jordan and he had been.
“Jase….” Chad starts, wanting to tell the truth about Jordan and him.
“No. I’m sorry. I had no right to be like this to you. I broke up with you and not in the best way. You had every right to start something with someone who would treat you better than I did. I’m being childish… I just missed you so badly. I’ve been so miserable without you…
… but that doesn’t give me the right to come between you and Jordan and act as I had something better to offer…. When all I brought was pain and…” As he apologizes he becomes aware of how Chad moves closer to him, the warm hands in the back of his neck, the caressing of Chad’s thumbs on his cheeks.
He tries not to look at Chad, afraid to be wrong, but Chad pulls him closer and Jason’s lips part automatically when Chad’s mouth comes in touch with his. With a sigh he throws himself into the kiss, unable to believe how good this feels. Hungrily he presses his body closer to Chad’s, only to notice that Chad is just as passionate as he is.
He moans under Chad’s kisses, but then breaks the kiss to pant:
“What about Jordan?” Chad blinks a few times.
“Jordan?” His mind is too occupied to make the connection.
“Your boyfriend?” Jason reminds him.
“Oh. Jordàn. Don’t worry. He’ll be fine with this…” Chad laughs.
“I’m very happy for both of you.” Jordan smiles after Chad and Jason are finished explaining. “I’m glad you came to tell me this personally.”
“You’re such a good friend.” Chad sighs, his own smile warm and gentle, for he really likes Jordan so much.
“Chad told me about the deal the two of you made and I’m glad that, in the end, you two are not really a couple. I’d hate to hurt you.” Jason says.
“Wasn’t it a wonderful coincidence that the two of you met at Robert’s?” Jordan grins.
“Yes, it was.” Chad beams at Jason. “If it hadn’t been for Kitty’s text….
… Oh, my God. I completely forgot about Kitty. I should have left her a note… I’m so rude.” Chad suddenly cries out. “Kitty wanted to talk to me about Kevin and Scotty’s wedding. That is why I was at Robert’s…” Chad explains to Jason.
“Kitty wanted to talk to me about Robert….” Jason frowns.
“Something tells me that Kitty wasn’t planning on showing up this afternoon.” Jordan laughs, way to smugly.
“Jordan…? Did you set us up?” Chad asks.
“With Kitty’s help.” Jordan nods. “And I’m glad to see it work. You deserve to be happy, Chad. And you Reverend McCallister, if you hurt Chad again, you’ll be in deep trouble.”
Jason smiles vaguely before replying…
“Ah, yes, forgot to tell you. It’s not Reverend anymore… Just Jason.”
“What? Why?” Chad asks.
“I’m no longer with the church.” Jason replies.
“Why?” Jordan now asks as well.
“I did a lot of soul-searching when I was in Malaysia. Had plenty of time to think during those long sleepless nights… Just before I left, Robert accused me of wearing my religion like a cloak.
His words made me wonder if I was indeed not using my religion to hide myself behind. It was a safe place, but ultimately not giving me satisfaction anymore. I felt like I was cheating on everything and everyone, including God, by not allowing myself to be me as God intended me to be.
I’m not saying that I won’t return to the church, but I can hardly stand there and preach about faith, when I no longer feel that faith. And how can I tell others to be honest, if I feel like I’m the biggest liar in church. It was a decision that had to be made ... for now. I first need to know who I am. So, no longer Reverend. Just Jason. Just a nobody.”
Chad is about to open his mouth to say that Jason is not a ‘nobody’, when the door of Jordan’s apartment opens and Tyler barges in, in a highly upset state.
“Tyler?! What happened?” Jordan ask surprised. And she looks at him with so much pain that Jordan backs off.
“Jordan, you’ve ruined everything for me! If I never see you again, it will still be too soon. I’m leaving this place.” Tyler is clearly hurt. She continues to her own room, slamming the door behind her.
“What did I do?” Jordan wonders bewildered.
END OF PART 96