Yeah, I'm back!!!
I haven’t figured it out yet, but it doesn’t matter. Thank you, notready4love, for your words:
Just to share a little (*smile*), whenever I face something like that, I tend to think only in one perspective: "Happiness is a choice." =) By that, I mean I can choose to be happy and take the remark as what it is OR I can choose to be unhappy and let the remark affect me negatively. I always choose to be happy. *Hugs, Hugs.* =)
And you know what? I choose to be happy. I LOVE Kevin!! And I love Scotty!! I want them to be happy because I have enough sh.. in my Real Life. They are my ‘escape-pod’, My safe haven.
So, let me be a mediocre writer. Fine with me. Let my stories be as predictable as a Harlequin-book. :)
I love to write.
I love my boys.
I love the Walkers.
I love Brothers & Sisters.
I think Luke Macfarlane is doing one heck of good job.
Above all, I just love, LOVE Matthew Rhys. Sincerely, best actor in the world as far as I’m concerned. Whether he is Boyo, Ray Smith, Demetrius, Matthew (Metropolis), Carl, Jonathan Jones, Frank, Eddie, Edward Malone, Daniel Warren, Nob, Doc, Strang, Justin Price, Alfie Harris, Nick Edwards, Lord Byron, Peter Simon, that count in Virgin Territory, Kevin Walker or Dylan Thomas, he is just there, capturing my attention and keeping me glued to my screen. Sincerely, the best!
This makes that I love Kevin most of all. And I love him most of all with Scotty. I’m not going to apologize for it…
I have ‘issues’ with the way B&S is going at the moment. (For one: I HATE the Kevin/Robert storyline with a vengeance) but I agree that ‘a bad episode of B&S is still a million times better than no B&S at all. And I cannot wait for the new season to start.
I am not putting a gun to anyone’s head to read either mine or anyone else’s stories. I cannot make anyone like characters they don’t wish to like, nor can anyone make me standup for pairings I don’t believe in. It’s a free universe! Read what you like.
So, ONWARDS !!! with chapter 95… Seven more to go after that!!! The end … is nearing….. (Does best Vincent Price imitation)… (Damn! Why do I have Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ on my mind suddenly?!)
Celebrate life, people! Turn a different corner 95/102By: Marea67 About:
Nora, Wally, and a few other... Ah, just read it! Rate
: G. Disclaimer
: I don’t own anything Extra:
This an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so remember : The more things change, the more they stay the same
. Here are part 01
, part 02
, part 03
, part 04
, part 05
, part 06
, part 07
, part 08
, part 09
, part 10
, part 11
, part 12
, part 13
, part 14
, part 15
, part 16
, part 17
, part 18
, part 19
, part 20
, part 21
, part 22
, part 23
, part 24
, part 25
, part 26
, part 27
, part 28
, part 29
, part 30
, part 31
, part 32
, part 33
, part 34
, part 35
, part 36
, part 37
, part 38
, part 39
, part 40
, part 41
, part 42
, part 43
, part 44
, part 45
, part 46
, part 47
, part 48
, part 49
, part 50
, part 51
, part 52
, part 53
, part 54
, part 55
, part 56
, part 57
, part 58
, part 59
, part 60
, part 61
, part 62
, part 63
, part 64
, part 65
, part 66
, part 67
, part 68
. part 69
, part 70
, part 71
, part 72
, part 73
, part 74
, part 75
, part 76
, part 77
, part 78
, part 79
, part 80
, part 81
, part 82
, part 83
, part 84
, part 85
, part 86
, part 87
, part 88
, part 89
, part 90
, part 91
, part 92
, part 93
and part 94
***** HALFWAY JUNE 2008
“So, how are you feeling now?” Wally asks and Nora smiles as the little breeze makes her hair curl around her head and tickle her face.
“Better, thank you, Wally. It was a good idea to come to the beach and get rid of the cobwebs in my head.”
“Yes, the news really hit you hard, didn’t it?”
“More than it should. I somehow knew
that Ryan was William’s, there were things about him.. but to see it actually black on white, undeniably there, … For years I erased the memory of finding out about Connie and William.
I pretended it never happened, that everything was peaches again. I loved him, he loved me… If only you pretend hard enough, it will soon enough appear to be real. And though you know deep inside it’s only make-belief, it still hurts when you get confronted with the fact that you’ve been lying to yourself all these years…
William had an affair… With a girl named Connie… That affair resulted into a son named Ryan… Ryan is William’s son. He’s here. He’s real. And now I can no longer deceive myself. William walked away from his responsibility towards that boy, but I won’t. Ryan deserves to be treated just like all the other children of William’s.”
Wally nods. He likes Nora so much. Realistic, both feet on the ground, but at the same time capable of loving with such intensity. He is so happy he decided to move to California, to be closer to his son. Being away from the depressing effect of Bertha’s house, Bertha’s garden and Bertha’s church, Wally starts to breathe again.
And sometimes there's even a little hope again. The hope to find someone to grow old with, to be happy again and to enjoy a life free of constraints. But he quickly crushes his own hope, because he believes it is too late for him. He believes that he can never again be a free soul, as Nora is.
In his room, on his bed, Justin can let his guard down. These last few weeks have been fun. He loves Tyler, really he does. She’s a great girl, with a wonderful sense of humor and a good taste for life. It took three dates to kiss, they made love on their fifth date and keep seeing each other whenever they can… But something keeps nagging at Justin.
He cannot forget about his feelings for Jordan. He has made up for himself that he enjoys making love with Tyler too much, to be gay. Kevin had always told him that he
just couldn’t enjoy it and that he was more interested in the ‘technique’ of it all, than about the feelings or the emotional aspect. He just didn’t have them.
So, slowly Justin is beginning
to accept the possibility
that he plays with the idea
that there could be
a chance that he might be
bi-sexual. Justin would be the first person to admit that this leaves some place for a change of heart, but he’s scared, so scared of how people will react to him if they find out.
But here, alone in his room, he can feel miserable, because he misses Jordan. Not only emotionally, because Justin can finally see that his life with Fawn, especially in the last months, had been about looking after Fawn all the time
. The constant worry had been become a daily routine.
With Jordan his life had been different every day. If they weren’t fixing things in the building, Jordan would take him along to meet friends, to go to the beach, to laugh at stupid jokes, or watch a romantic movie, (alright that had been embarrassing, the two them sobbing on the couch, but fun). Jordan made him feel alive
But he also missed Jordan physically. The hugs, the kiss that would still burn on his lips it he thought about it, the easy way they had made contact, Justin had just trusted
Jordan from day one… He runs his fingers through his hair. He has to get out of this place. This is too depressing… So he leaves a note, for Jordan and Tyler, that he’s off to see Kevin at work and leaves the house.
It is later than expected and by the time they return home, both Wally and Nora are tired of the day at the beach. Sun, sea, sand and silent joy. They don’t need to talk, they can just enjoy each other’s company without endless chatter. So when they pass a sign that says ““Hotel Sunbeam, 2 miles”, they both remain quiet for a moment.
“I’m very tired.” Nora then says.
“It is still a long way before we’re home.” Wally replies.
“Maybe it wouldn’t be smart to continue driving. I saw you yawning and I have trouble staying awake as well….”
“Do you think we should….?” Wally doesn’t dare to finish the question, thinking it to be too forward, but Nora nods her head.
“… take the hotel. Yes. I do.” So Wally slows down. He takes a small road, leading closer to the sea. They make a climb up a hill. Another turn in the road and in front of them appears a hotel.
They would be the first to agree that “Sunbeam” is a very corny name for a hotel. Not very original, but it fits. The outside is painted in orange/yellow, giving it a warm feeling. All over the garden small terraces have been created by using low bushes, giving each place to sit a private ambiance.
They quickly go to the reception-desk.
“One room for two?” The girl asks in a sweet, child-like voice and Wally is about to answer that they want two separate rooms, when Nora calmly says:
They are handed over their key. A real key, not some computer-chipped-card that somehow never opens the door to the room that you want to get into … Nora hates
those cards. Wally follows her up to their room. Number 7 is at the end of a narrow hallway.
Nora pays attention to the clean white walls, the warm carpet and the Victorian decorations that have survived the many renovations this house has had over the years. The hotel matches old and new, modern and classic furniture, but strangely enough it all fits.
The room itself is decorated in fresh vanilla and blue colors, with a huge four-poster bed, covered with smaller pillows. It breaths romance and cozyness. There is a round table and two very comfortable looking chairs. The bathroom has a large, deep bath and a separate place to shower.
Nora watches with pleasure as Wally lets his fingers slide along the bed, small table and chairs. But then he moves over to yet another set of doors.
“We have a balcony.” He says, quickly opening the doors and being awe-struck by the view of the ocean and the rocks underneath their balcony. From there they can see the small beach that seems to belong to the hotel.
“This is not what I expected.” Wally says as turns around, the surprise clear on his face, although Nora is not entirely sure if that is positive or negative.
“What did you expect?” she asks.
“Come on, we’re not horny teenagers. We’re adults.” Nora says with a laughter.
“I’m sorry. It’s just…. This is weird.... there is only one
bed.... I’ve never been with any other woman than Bertha… We got married when she discovered she was pregnant and we’ve been together since. I… I never…” Wally is clearly upset.
“Wally, it’s alright… Neither have I. I’ve always loved William and William only.. I just don’t see a reason though why we should each sleep alone in separate rooms, which, by the way, would be more expensive. Why can’t we simply be alone together? Like I said, we’re not teenagers.” Nora smiles.
“Oh, hi, Kitty!” Jordan replies as he opens the door after someone nearly breaks it down.
“Jordan! Where’s Justin?”
“He went to see Kevin.”
“Great! Completely out of my way…”
“If you wish to wait….” Jordan invites.
“No, thanks, I have dinner-plans with Robert and Jason.”
“Jason? As in: Jason McCallister?” Jordan asks.
“I thought he was in Malaysia.”
“Not anymore. He got back two days ago… Don’t know more than that.”
“Strange. Chad didn’t tell me that.” Jordan thinks out loud.
“Why would he? Jason hasn’t contacted Chad. He knows that Chad is involved with you.”
“Honestly, Kevin, I don’t know what to do….” Justin sobs. “I just think about Jordan all the time. It drives me completely insane.”
“For one, you should stop lying to Tyler. Be honest with her. If you seriously want Jordan, then it is unfair to pretend that you want to be with her.”
“Brilliant idea, Kev. Then Jordan doesn’t need or want me and Tyler will hate
me. Might as well move back in with mom.”
“You’re going to have to tell Jordan the truth. That it wasn’t just sex, but that you’re in love with him..”
“.. while he’s having a relationship with Chad? I’m not sure, that it is the best advice you can give me, bro. You not only want me kicked out of my apartment, but at the same time make an immortal fool of myself in the process… with advice like yours, I might as well stay locked up in my room and fake having the flu.” Justin sighs.
“Chad, need to talk to you about Kev’s wedding. Meet me at Robert’s ranch? Tomorrow 3pm?” - Kitty
“Sorry I had to miss dinner with you and Robert. Want to talk to my boyfriend’s brother though. :) How about 3pm tomorrow? Robert’s place?” – Kit
“Kitty, Will be there. Chad.”
“Kit, will be there. Jason.”
They have dinner brought to their room, as they are too tired to leave again. The sun sets very slowly, but both Nora and Wally are too wrapped up in their conversation. Away from Nora’s house, this is the first time Nora hears Wally talk so much about himself and his marriage. Nora has gotten to know him as a gentle, quiet man, who hardly expresses himself and is quick to agree with other people’s suggestions.
“… I guess the hardest part was the silence in which we lived. The woman I had once married, the carefree girl with the great laughter had vanished and to this day I don’t understand why. Was it only the church? Was it something I did? Should have done? I couldn’t talk to her about it.
Because she felt there was nothing ‘wrong’ with her. She was the only one who was ‘right’. Her path was the one all should follow. Sins should be banned, fought vigorously . No mercy for those who were ‘too weak’ to fight temptation… It was something that simply grew over the years.
I don’t think I truly understood how withdrawn I had gotten.... It would be easy to hate her. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I married because I loved her and basically she reacted out of love
, weird as it may sound. She loved us so much that she wanted us, the three
of us, to be together, when we would go to heaven.
And she could not understand, really not
understand, why Scotty wouldn’t turn his back on his homosexuality, so he could go to heaven with her… In her eyes, he consciously chose
hell … over her, over his own
mother. and …. She couldn’t put herself in Scotty’s place. And when she felt that he
didn’t want to be with her, she cut him loose as well…
I kept trying to get her to talk to Scotty, sometimes she came close and then she’d call someone in the church to ‘help’ her to stay on the right path and fight Scotty’s need to find forgiveness for being a sinner…. I never realized what a warped life I was having.” Wally shakes his head.
“Eventually I just gave up and withdrew in my own thoughts… I was too tired to fight. I missed Scotty like crazy and our occasional phone-calls weren’t enough for me. I needed to know he was alright…. And I’m glad he is now… He has a wonderful husband in your son, Nora. I’m sure that our sons won’t make the mistakes I’ve made.”
“I’d hit Kevin over the head with a frying-pan if I ever catch him making the same mistakes I made.” She laughs. And then Wally laughs as well. Halfway the table their hands meet, just a little squeeze, just a bit of comfort. They look at each other a long time.
“Shall we skip dessert?” Nora asks softly.
“Perfect idea.” Wally agrees and he gets up to put the dishes back on the tray, when Nora does the same and they are suddenly face to face. It is only a little miracle that the dishes don’t end up on the floor, but balance, very close to falling, on the tray.
Wally’s lips are on Nora’s and he trembles under her soft touch. She can feel his need, his desire, but at the same time, he’s so careful. When they break their kiss, they both remain indecisive about how to go on.
“Are you sure?” Wally asks.
“I don’t know.” Nora admits.
“Want me stop?” Wally’s voice trembles under the stress of asking the question.
“No.” Nora shakes her head visibly.
“Do… Do you want me to .. go on?” Wally asks hesitantly.
“Yes.” Nora whispers and then she’s in Wally arms. Lips are hers and she can no longer think. Nor does she want to. She’s too touched by the eagerness in Wally. She can see and feel his need to love and be loved. His longing to be touched is heart-breaking and so she just lets him make love to her and gives him back her love in return.
END OF PART 95