About: Justin/Jordan, Kevin/Scotty, Ryan/Elizabeth
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything
Extra: This an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so remember : The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are part 01, part 02, part 03, part 04, part 05, part 06, part 07, part 08, part 09, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28, part 29, part 30, part 31, part 32, part 33, part 34, part 35, part 36, part 37, part 38, part 39, part 40, part 41, part 42, part 43, part 44, part 45, part 46, part 47, part 48, part 49, part 50, part 51, part 52, part 53, part 54, part 55, part 56, part 57, part 58, part 59, part 60, part 61, part 62, part 63, part 64, part 65, part 66, part 67, part 68. part 69, part 70, part 71, part 72, part 73, part 74, part 75, part 76, part 77, part 78, part 79, part 80, part 81, part 82 and part 83
HALFWAY MAY 2008
Justin is about to cut his sandwich in half when Jordan comes in.
“Hey.” He replies, focusing hard on cutting the sandwich and trying not to stare at Jordan. “Did you hear the news? Kevin and Scotty…. In Arizona.”
“Yes, Scotty’s mom died. Very sad. Hope she didn’t keel over dead because of Scotty’s plan.”
“Will ask Kevin if I speak to him.” Justin says, taking a bite.
“Have you used up all the mustard again?”
“Sorry… there wasn’t much left… think Tyler took some as well.”
“Why am I the only one who keeps record of what needs to be bought in this house?”
Justin quietly listens to Jordan’s rant. Jordan is right. He should have written the mustard on the chalk-board. It is why the board is there…. But he forgot…. So he picks up one of the pieces of chalk and writes down ‘mustard’.
“See, two seconds work and yet no one seems to be able to do it.” Jordan whines.
Justin takes a deep breath, tries to block out the sound of Jordan’s voice, but it’s not working. He puts down his sandwich.
“Jordan….” He starts, but when Jordan turns around to face him, the sudden intimacy in the kitchen is too much to handle.
They don’t know who started it, but the first kiss is soft and hesitant, the second one more insisting, the third one leaves no room for second guessing and by the time they reach the fourth one, they are both lost in their passion, holding each other, hands exploring carefully, lips sliding, tongues searching.
Jordan’s bedroom is the closest and they end up on the bed, unable to let go of each other. They don’t talk. They are both too afraid that they might break the spell. Hungrily Justin pulls his t-shirt over his head, so that Jordan’s mouth can continue to explore and kiss and Justin’s body just moves to seek those lips caressing his skin.
Justin’s breath hitches clearly when Jordan’s fingers slide the zipper down. He cannot remember the last time he was this hard. He lifts up his lower body to give Jordan the chance to take his pants off, but Jordan’s able hands take more than just the pants and then Justin is naked on the bed.
Jordan doesn’t give him time to think anything through. After the first careful taste, Jordan shows Justin that his lips are as able as his hands are and watching himself disappear in Jordan’s mouth nearly takes Justin over the edge. Beyond that moment there is only desire, encouragement, begging, demand and eventually total surrender.
The church is full. Scotty looks around and can only see the sea of faces, most them completely unknown to him. The coffin is beautiful, black and shiny. The flowers are in contrasting white, so they really stand out and their scent is so strong, that Scotty can smell them from his place on the first row.
The choir sings some hymns that Scotty vaguely remembers from the time his mother dragged him to church every Sunday. The minister gives his speech. He praises Bertha’s tenacity, her charitable work, her care for the community, her love for her husband, her religious values, her intelligence and her honesty.
Scotty feels a bitterness inside, because not a word is spend on him. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling self-pity, this is after all about his mother, but somewhere it stings, it’s as if he’s not a part of her life…. At all. It only enhances this over-all feeling he has, that this is all unreal.
Of course, it’s been years since he saw his mother, a little under eight years to be exact. The woman he saw lying to the table yesterday was not the mother he remembers. The woman these people talk about is a stranger to Scotty. It all feels like he’s at someone else’s funeral and it is unsettling.
He has his speech in his hands, he planned last night to forgive his mother, like he had suggested Kevin to do with William, but now he’s frozen to his chair. He listens how his mother’s friends talk about how much they will miss her. The words however are meaningless and hollow and they pass him by.
As they get up to follow the coffin outside to Bertha’s final resting place, Kevin leans over to Scotty.
“What is going on, honey? Didn’t you plan to read your speech here?”
“Yes. But, Kev, this is all so unreal. I feel like I’m in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don’t exist, I wouldn’t even be surprised if most of them don’t know she has a son.”
“Isn’t that a bit over the top?” Kevin replies quietly.
“Haven’t you noticed that there isn’t a single picture of me in the house? It’s like I was never there. I’ve been erased. Nobody mentions that she had a son.”
“Maybe it’s not on their minds or they know that there was a fight and they don’t know the details and don’t wish to speculate. This day is not about you, it’s about her.”
“I know. I’m overreacting, huh?”
“No. I think you’re right, you are being ignored in all this, but this is not the time, nor the place.”
Scotty agrees with Kevin and they quietly follow Wally. To Kevin if feels partially like a déjà-vu. He quickly looks at Scotty, who’s face is stoic as usual in these things and Kevin’s fingers brush Scotty’s fingers. They can’t hold hands, they agreed: no PDA's, but he wants Scotty to know he’s there. Scotty looks at him and takes his arm, as if he needs the support.
The minister asks if anyone wants to say some final words, but Scotty can’t do it. He just can’t step up and give his speech and then the opportunity passes. As the coffin quietly disappears into the ground it’s very silent, only a few tears are being shed and then the ceremony is over and people walk up to Wally to pay their respect.
Wally introduces Scotty to a few of his mother’s friends and without blinking, he introduces Kevin as Scotty’s husband. Which leads to a few eye-brows being raised, because obviously Bertha hadn’t told many of her friends that her son was gay. Some never even knew she HAD a son, which fills Scotty with sadness.
He is very happy that this day is coming to an end. He’s been politely smiling at so many people, his cheeks hurt and he just wants to go home. Home as in the loft he shares with Kevin.
“Excuse me, you’re Bertha’s son, aren’t you?” A voice says.
Before him stands a tall woman with a stern look in her eyes.
“Yes, I ‘m Scotty.” Scotty replies cautiously and with good reason.
“It is sad that she died without ever hearing an apology from you for the disgrace you put her through. You and your so-called husband,… nothing but replying to your primal lust, with no way to control your unnatural desires. You should read this and know that this is where the answer to your problems lie….”
As she rants on, Scotty finds himself staring at a leaflet on how prayer, and prayer alone, will make God take your homosexuality away. It brings tears to his eyes as he remembers getting exactly the same leaflet years ago from his mother, how this would ‘fix’ his ‘little problem’…
He closes his eyes, suddenly feeling faint, but then he becomes aware of Kevin’s hand on his back and Kevin saying something to the woman and he's vaguely aware that Wally now interferes as well, while Kevin takes the leaflet from Scotty’s fingers and throws it in the waste-bin.
Kevin turns to Wally and says with more irritation than he planned:
“Wally, I think that Scotty has had enough….” Wally, looking at his son’s pale face, agrees. He says a quick goodbye and then he follows Kevin and Scotty, so they can return home.
“Hey, Beth.” Ryan gives his sister a quick kiss on the cheek and places a small little gift before her on the table.
“For me?” Elizabeth’s eyes shine and Ryan nods with a smile. She quickly tears open the wrapping and in her hand she holds a red tiara for her hair and a pair of red earrings.
“Oh, Ryan! They will look great with my red dress.” She laughs.
“Yes, you’ll be the prettiest girl at the school-party next Friday.” He loves to his sister’s happy face. “Now, remember, mom works until eleven. We have to be back and in bed before ten-thirty. I’ll pick you up at ten.”
Elizabeth nods. She knows the rules. Go to the party, have fun, but be back in time, so mom won’t find out. Under her bed, in a plastic bag is a cute little red dress that Ryan bought for her, for two dollars, at a garage-sale. Elizabeth had sewn some extra ribbons on it, so it looks more playful and with this tiara and the earrings, she feels she’s ready.
She knows that Ryan usually cannot afford such frivolities and that all the money he gets from tips, he receives at the restaurant, he keeps in a safe place, so that they have a bit of money saved for when they leave in four years….
She sighs, feeling the need to get back to her homework. She knows she’s the smartest of them two and that once she’s eighteen and after they have left, she’ll be the person they’ll have to fall back on. Yet, she’s thankful that sometimes, when her mom isn’t looking, she can be 14 years old, just like the other girls in her class. But now, she must get good grades first… For Ryan.
Ryan, who quickly makes them something to eat, watches his sister, with her nose in her books and he wishes she could have more fun, that she could be a silly 14-year old, like the other girls in her class. Maybe he should look for a second job, so there’s a bit more money … For Beth.
END OF PART 84