About: Kevin, Scotty, Wally, Chad, Jason
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything
Extra: This an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so remember : The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are part 01, part 02, part 03, part 04, part 05, part 06, part 07, part 08, part 09, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28, part 29, part 30, part 31, part 32, part 33, part 34, part 35, part 36, part 37, part 38, part 39, part 40, part 41, part 42, part 43, part 44, part 45, part 46, part 47, part 48, part 49, part 50, part 51, part 52, part 53, part 54, part 55, part 56, part 57, part 58, part 59, part 60, part 61, part 62, part 63, part 64, part 65, part 66, part 67, part 68. part 69, part 70, part 71, part 72, part 73, part 74, part 75, part 76, part 77, part 78, part 79, part 80, part 81 and part 82
HALFWAY MAY 2008
Kevin had worried how his relationship with Wally Wandell would develop. He had expected Wally to be like William, but instead he meets a man who is gentle, kind, sometimes he even seems a bit slow, not stupid, he is very smart, but more as if the world around him moves too fast. Scotty’s father couldn’t be nicer to Kevin and Scotty if he tried.
And within the space of a breakfast, Kevin drops his guard. He can easily talk with Wally and Wally seems interested in everything he says and soon enough Kevin, Scotty and Wally are around the table trying to figure out what Bertha would have wanted for her funeral and in how far they are insured.
Bertha’s body is still at the hospital, waiting to be brought to a funeral-parlor, so Wally comes along to see Bertha. Scotty hadn’t seen his mother in a long time and he sees the same woman Kevin does.. Not very tall, maybe too skinny. Her face shows how discontent she was. It shows especially in the deep downward lines around her mouth.
Somehow Scotty feels disconnected. He had hoped that seeing his mom would make it real to him, but he has a hard time seeing his ‘mom’ in this person lying on the table. He doesn’t really recognize her. On top of that he feels guilty, because he knows this woman is his mother and he blames himself for the negative change in her.
“Can we get out of here?” Scotty asks quietly and he feels Kevin’s hand tenderly on his back. Wally seems numb as he stares at her body and Kevin has to ask him twice before he looks up at Kevin and follows his son out of the room.
“I’m sorry.” He says. “It all still so unreal to me. I keep expecting her to wake up… or something.”
“It must be very hard, Wally. You must miss her terribly.”
“I do.” Wally says slowly, in thoughts, as if he asks himself if he really does miss her.
“Come on. Let’s talk to the doctors and get the final paperwork done for the funeral.” Kevin calmly says, taking charge of his husband and his father-in-law.
Chad hears a thud in the hallway and looks up, just in time to see Jason walk in.
“Hey, I know you’re very busy, but I’ve hardly seen you this last week.” Chad says.
“Yeah, I’ve been trying to avoid quite some people these last few weeks.” Jason admits.
“No, I haven’t tried to avoid you, I just make sure that people don’t get constantly reminded of the fact that I got outed.”
“Did you talk to your uncle?”
“Mmm-yes.” Jason replies distractedly.
“Was it good, bad or ugly?”
“Ugly. Very ugly… My uncle made it sure that I understood, that he would support me in public, but that privately, he never wants to see me again.”
“Anything to give off the air of having an understanding, caring family, while basically they are as homophobic as they can get?”
“Gotta protect Robert’s reputation, it’s the family-mantra.” Jason shrugs.
“And your church?”
“Some people in my congregation give me an odd look, but in general, everyone is very calm. I guess it does help that I don’t flaunt my homosexuality in front of everybody.”
“Well, you can ‘flaunt’ it here.” Chad says sweetly, pulling Jason into his arms, but Jason breaks free.
“Don’t…” Jason begs.
“Come on.. It’s been days since we even kissed, let alone made love. I long for you.”
Again Chad tries to pull Jason closer and kiss him, but again Jason pushes him away. Chad lets him go. He’s not going to force himself on Jason.
“What is wrong? And I mean, really wrong.”
“The bishop wanted to see me.” Jason says softly.
“Are you in trouble?”
“Why would I be ‘in trouble’?”
“Me. You. You and me. He told you to break up with me, didn’t he?” Chad speculates.
“No. No, that’s not it. He’s sending me on a mission. ..To Malaysia.”
“I know, it’s far.” Jason replies sadly.
“No, actually that is not far. I mean… New York… is far. Malaysia is halfway around the world…” Chad stammers and Jason can only nod.
“So… did you tell them you can’t… because you’re sort of …in a relationship?” Chad tries.
“It doesn’t work like that…. I made a commitment to the church, this is my faith. I wanted this mission… months ago, when there was only talk about it… before you came into my life. The bishop wanted to know if I still wanted to do this.
And I do… This is bigger than me or what I want. And it’s bigger than you, Chad. It is something I feel I must do. I was called to serve.. and that is what I must do.”
“So… they don’t ask you to leave me. They ‘only’ send you on a mission to the other side of this planet.... How convenient.”
“I volunteered … months ago. The answer only now came in.”
“Yeah sure.” Chad says quietly, then he smiles sadly and takes Jason’s hand. “I guess that now I’m supposed to wait for your return… on some dark rainy day, where the sky only opens up the moment I hold you in my arms again…?” He teases lightly, but Jason doesn’t smile.
“No.” Jason replies, swallowing hard as he gathers his nerves. “You’re not going to wait for me…. We’re breaking up.”
“What?!” Chad’s jaw literally drops as the shock courses through his body.
“I’ve thought about this long and hard. I’m not making some flippant decision here, Chad.
I couldn’t have gotten to where I am without you and I really appreciate all the support, but I think I need to got the rest of the distance in my own way. At my own pace. By myself. We are not in the same place right now. I need to figure this out on my own. Staying with you confuses the issue.”
“Confuses the issue? We never even talked about this….”
“I didn’t want to give you a chance to talk me out of it.” Jason replies.
“You can’t simply drop this bomb on me and leave it at that. This… this is not how a relationship works."
“But that is just it. We… we don’t have a relationship.”
“We don’t? You practically live with me, you eat at my dinner table, we watched movies together, we discussed redecorating the study… We share a bed.”
“I know... But that is just it. You’re pushing me in a certain direction, I am not sure I want to take.”
“Then take some distance, but break up…?”
“I’m sorry. I was very confused and I wanted you so badly….”
“And now that you have me, you’ve had your little toy and you’re done playing?” Chad asks.
“Don’t… you make me sound rather petty.”
“This is petty. If you truly feel the need to go to Malaysia to work out … whatever ... is bugging you… fine… but you don’t have to throw me out of your life.”
“Yes. I do. I need to start this with a clean slate.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Here’s your key. I’ve packed everything that belongs to me….” Only now does Chad realize that the thud he heard, was Jason dropping his weekend bag in the hall. “If you still find something, I hope you will give it back to me.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll give it to Kevin, so he can give to Kitty, who can give it to Robert, who can hand it to you.”
“Please, don’t do this, Chad. I want this to be a friendly break up….” Jason replies, hurt.
“Friendly..?!” Chad asks astounded. He wants to scream at Jason, that Jason just tore his heart out, but instead, he swallows every word away. He is not going to beg for Jason’s love. Casually, controlling his voice from trembling, he says. “Sure. Whatever... Have a nice life.”
“You can find your own way out, can’t you?” Chad dismisses Jason, by turning his back on Jason. Jason opens his mouth to say something, but Chad turns on the tv real loud and any discussion is over.
Jason bites his lip. This conversation had not gone as good as he hoped it would. He can't believe that Chad cannot see the logic of his action. It's the only option he has at this point. So he puts the key on the table, now that it looks that Chad isn't going to take them from his hand and then Jason leaves Chad’s house, not seeing the tears Chad quietly cries.
END OF PART 83