About: Kevin, Chad, Jason, Robert , Ryan/Elizabeth, Kevin/Scotty
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything
Extra: This an AU (Alternative Universe) story, so remember : The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are part 01, part 02, part 03, part 04, part 05, part 06, part 07, part 08, part 09, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28, part 29, part 30, part 31, part 32, part 33, part 34, part 35, part 36, part 37, part 38, part 39, part 40, part 41, part 42, part 43, part 44, part 45, part 46, part 47, part 48, part 49, part 50, part 51, part 52, part 53, part 54, part 55, part 56, part 57, part 58, part 59, part 60, part 61, part 62, part 63, part 64, part 65, part 66, part 67, part 68. part 69, part 70, part 71, part 72, part 73, part 74, part 75, part 76 and part 77
HALFWAY APRIL 2008 – SATURDAY EARLY EVENING
A bi-sexual porn-actor….. Robert really could not have not imagined what Chad or Chad’s house would look like. He certainly guessed it would be something more … sexual? But instead, Kevin introduces him to blond man with blue eyes, dressed in blue jeans and a black t-shirt, that shows off his chest and arms very well, but who, other than that seems very … normal?
Chad asks him if he wants coffee, tea or something stronger… and Robert is ashamed to have to admit that he is almost surprised by the normalcy of this question as if he had expected Chad to offer him some porn-movie to watch, while he waited for Jason. Slightly confused by his own feelings and prejudice, he follows Kevin and Chad further inside the house.
And he enters a living-room that isn’t very different from his own one. It has a leather couch that is definitely more comfortable than his own. On the walls are some beautiful black and white pictures of Chad in various poses, but nothing that could be considered offensive or would make you send your children out of the room.
Chad returns with the coffee for himself, Robert and Kevin.
“Jason will be with us in a few seconds. Think he’s straightening himself up a bit. He had a difficult night.” Chad says, though he considers it better not to say that he and Jason had ended up making love three times that night.
Chad however felt that on all three occasions it had been more about trying to get rid of frustrations in Jason, rather than an enjoyable moment between two lovers.
“Senator McCallister, I’m sorry if you were worried. Jason didn’t want to look at his phone, worried about the response he might get.” Chad says.
“I was worried, especially because he didn’t reply.” Robert nods.
“Yes, not knowing where someone you care about is, can be frightening, especially if you can imagine the trouble they could have, might have ran into.” Chad agrees. Robert gives Chad an uncertain smile.
He tries very hard to get his head around the fact, that this man is the man his brother is with… Try that one again… that his brother is dating…. One more try…. That his brother is sleeping with…. Having sex with?… Robert shivers. It is beyond his imagination. A little noise makes him look up and Jason enters the room.
Dressed in a t-shirt that must be Chad’s because Robert never saw it before on Jason and somehow it doesn’t fit Jason too well either, Jason looks pale but alive.
“Robert….” Jason acknowledges.
“Jason…” Robert nods, equally distant.
“Chad? Why don’t we give Jason and his brother some room to talk?” Kevin suggests.
“Good idea…. We’ll be in the garden.” Chad tells Jason, letting only his thumb caress Jason’s cheek softly as a sign of affection, before sending a warning glare at Robert. Jason is obviously nervous to see Chad and Kevin leave the room.
“Jase, I’m sorry about last night.” Robert’s words are immediate, without hesitation and completely sincere. “I should have been open to what you were trying to tell me.”
“I was so afraid to tell you. I was afraid that you would throw me out of your house, out of your life…. And then you did just that.”
“No. I was angry with you, yes….”
“You were angry that you would have to apologize.”
“I wasn’t angry because I had to apologize. I wouldn’t have had to apologize, because I should have known that you’re… gay…”
The slight hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed.
“You can’t even say it.”
“Yes, I can. I will. Just give me a bit of time to adjust to all this. For over 30 years I’ve believed you were straight.
I believed, that you weren’t interested in women because you wanted to devote your life to God. And now you get outed, you tell me the truth about yourself after hiding it from me for more than 15 years and you just expect me to flick a switch and accept it? It doesn’t work like that. Who are you, Jason?”
“What?!” Jason asks, stunned that somehow Robert wants to put blame on him.
“Yes. Who are you? Why did you never tell me the truth? What was it, that could frighten you so much, that you could hide such an essential part of yourself?”
“For the longest time, I denied it to myself. I didn’t want this.
I wanted to be ‘normal’, like every other boy in our family, I didn’t want to be one those freaks our family laughs at, because gay peoples are weird, freaks, ‘wrong’… that was all I knew…. Look at what happened last week… I wanted to tell you the truth then, because I’d seriously fallen in love with Chad.
But there were uncle Jack and our cousins. Tell me, which of their homo-phobic remarks would have helped me to come out and tell you I’m gay?..”
“Jase…” Robert takes his brother’s hand. “I was 12 years old when you were born and mom put this screaming little package in my hands and told me I was responsible for you, now that daddy is dead. But she didn’t have to tell me that, I’ve loved you from the first day I held you.”
“I’ve felt so alone, Robert.” Jason suddenly cries. “I’ve hidden my feelings for so long. I’ve been so scared.” Robert holds Jason close and kisses his hair.
“Jason, I’m not saying I’m going to make everything right…. I have to deal with this too, but let’s do this together. I need you to help me understand….”
“So, what do you think? Was it smart to leave Jason alone with his brother? I’m afraid his brother will talk him out of a relationship with me.” Chad says.
“He can’t, Chad. Jason is too much in love with you.” Kevin smiles.
“I’m scared though. The McCallisters are very manipulative.”
“True, but I think that Jason has found the person he wants to be with. I can only hope that he stays who he is and that he won’t go back in the closet.
“That is what I hope for as well.” Chad sighs.
“We’re here, Jason!” Jason and Robert find Chad and Kevin quickly enough. They both look at Jason in anticipation and Jason gives them a watery smile.
“We’re okay. We still have to work out some details. I have to give Robert some time to adjust, I need some time to sort things out… but … Robert and I, we’re good.”
The room is dark, the alarm-clock says it’s 0.43 am, but Ryan can’t sleep. For one, because his wrist and upper arm hurt, from where his mom had twisted him and pushed him around. The door starts to move and a little silhouette slips into the room.
“Elizabeth! You should be in bed.” Ryan says softly.
“Can’t sleep. Mom snores.” Elizabeth replies. Her voice is little and sleepy and Ryan sighs.
“Come here then.” He says and he lifts his blanket. There is not much room in Ryan’s one-person bed, but he knows that Elizabeth feels safe, sleeping between him and the wall.
“Did she hurt you?” Elizabeth whispers.
“Not more than usual.” Ryan tries to avoid thinking about it.
“Heard you cry.”
“Then don’t listen. It’s why I bought you that old walk-man.”
“Mom broke it. Threw it against the wall.”
“What?! Why?” Ryan asks.
“She was mad.”
“She is always mad.”
“Yeah.” Elizabeth confirms, she yawns, nestles close to her brother and closes her eyes. Tears sting behind Ryan’s eyes, but he cannot cry, not now. He needs to be strong. For Elizabeth’s sake. Just a little longer. A few years more. Four years until she’s eighteen and they can finally have their freedom.
It is late by the time Kevin gets home. Scotty looks up at him.
“Kitty went back to your mom’s place. How did it go?”
“Better than expected. The Senator really tried to fathom what is going on with Jason, with us, how we play a part in Jason’s life. We took away some of his prejudice….. I think.”
“There’s a message for you, from Tommy, I heard the phone too late to pick it up.” Scotty apologizes. Kevin nods, gives Scotty a quick kiss, then a longer one and is inches away from ravaging Scotty, but then he stops and decides to listen what Tommy has to say first. So he pushes the button on the answering machine.
“Kev? Tommy here. Julia and I were wondering if we could talk to you and Justin tomorrow…” He hears Julia mumble something in the back. “Of course. This might also concern Scotty, as he’s your husband… I’ve been thinking two o’clock? Bye.”
“Now what?” Kevin wonders, but then he turns to husband. Comfort-time! And maybe a bit more…
END OF PART 78