I had not even gotten used to the house yet, when my owners decided to get a divorce. SHE didn’t like me and just threw in this dirty box, where I became all smelly and stuffy. She would sell me at a garage sale. I felt awful, dirty and ashamed. I am quality pillow with the lovely image of Liza Minnelli stitched on me and I am expensive. And yet there I was between the rubbish! Oh, the disgrace!
And then he picked me up. And turned me over and over and smiled. I was just what he was looking for. Just the right colors and for practically no money. Cheap! I ended up in the washing-machine and after all the tumbling and drowning and feeling my insides pulled in all directions, I came out, all clean, fresh and with all my bright colors back.
I discovered his name was Scotty. Scotty Wandell. Not that it mattered, we were never formerly introduced anyway. I quickly found out that he loved to keep me in his bed. Nice and cozy pressed up against him. He was very sweet. He would cry at sad movies. Awwww. I was less happy with his habit of eating cookies in bed though, all those crumbs got everywhere. But in all, I really liked my new owner.
Scotty took good care of me. Kept me clean. He sewed up one of my seams when it came loose. (quite embarrassing for a lady like me, may I add) He never threw me around, nor would he leave me somewhere on the floor to get stepped on.
I was quite happy for a while and then things changed. He brought home a boyfriend. I admit I liked him right away. He had such a nice voice. And, alright, I admit, he also had nice hands. He saw me and picked me up. Turning me around and around until I got a bit dizzy.
“Wow! Liza Minnelli? Can a pillow get gayer than this?” he asked a bit sarcastic, but he was not really mean to me. I just wished he would stop throwing me up in the air and catching me. Scotty laughed and pouted:
“Kev, I happen to like her. The pillow and I are inseparable.” That’s right! You tell him!
“Well, I’ll gladly take her place and be your pillow.” ‘Kev’ smiled. Scotty wrapped his arms around ‘Kev’ and before I knew it, I was on the chair and ‘Kev’ was in bed with Scotty. So much for being ‘inseparable’! I mean, I had no objection against the chair, aside the fact that she is such a chatter-box, but I preferred the bed. Warm and comfy.
After that meeting I didn’t see ‘Kev’ back at Scotty’s place, but I did find out from Scotty’s telephone-calls, that ‘Kev’ ‘s full name was Kevin Walker. And that he really, really liked Kevin. Once he danced around the room with me, when Kevin asked him out on a date. I saw stars after that, because he held me so close. I could hear his heart beat, fast. And he looked so happy. He was so beautiful. I loved him so much.
But one day, he put me in a bag. And I left the apartment, got put on the backseat of a car and not so much later I was face-to-face with Kevin again.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to give you something special for your birthday, but…” Scotty’s voice was soft.
“Oh, Scotty, I know you don’t have that much money, but to give me Liza? I know how much you love that pillow...”
“She’s yours now.” Scotty shrugged. And I realized that he just gave me away…. I was stuffing-broken.
Not long after Scotty gave me away, he and Kevin broke up. Kevin kept me. Life at Kevin’s place was not bad, but I missed Scotty. Kevin was good to me, no doubt. He was very hurt about the break up with Scotty, so we sort of cried together, though he never saw my tears, because of course I absorb rather than dispense them.
Oh, then this Chad came. He would like to rest his head on me. Not bad, his shampoo smelled really good and he treated me with respect. He obviously recognized the artistic side of me. But things between Kevin and Chad were not the same as between Kevin and Scotty. Time was limited for them. Where Kevin would have lots of fun with Scotty, watching tv, eating something on the couch, a bit of smooching or just discussing politics, his time with Chad was often spend in the bedroom.
Sometimes Chad didn’t even stay for two hours. Sometimes he stayed the night, but he was always in a hurry to leave.
And then, one night, late, the door opened and Kevin came home. Not with Chad. With someone else. I nearly blew my stitches. It was Scotty! Yes! Yes! Yes! He was back! He smiled when he saw me.
“Still have her?”
“All I have of you. I missed you.” Oh, I missed Scotty too! I did! Scotty meant to put me back on the chair but he was too busy kissing Kevin and I fell next to the chair. From my point I could see the bedroom, where they were heading.
Scotty and Kevin were kissing, touching, caressing and my stuffing nearly burst out of me from sheer happiness….
… until the next morning Scotty just passed me by, without giving me a second look… He was gone again. And I didn’t know why. I just knew I missed him…. And so did Kevin….
I didn’t see Chad for several days and when he finally came over again, something was different. Kevin was trying to be happy, but wasn’t. A few more fights later, Kevin came home alone. He took me in his arms and cried and he confessed to me:
“Liza, I loved Scotty, but couldn’t keep him. Now I lost Chad as well. It’s over.” He was so sad. I gave him all the warmth I had. But I wasn’t sure it would be enough.
It was quiet for a while, but then he brought back yet another boyfriend. It was mutual hate at first sight.
“This is the most hideous pillow I ever saw.” He said. Well, hunney, you’re not so attractive to look at either!
“Jason, that is my Liza-pillow and I love her.” That’s right! You tell him! Oh, wait, been there, done that, heard those words before, but Scotty gave me away anyway. Maybe I should be more careful this time. Not sure I wanted to end up with THAT one.
A few days later, Jason’s nephew, Jack, stayed at the apartment. He dropped one of his high-lighters on me, leaving an enormous pink stain on my face. Kevin was visibly hurt, but his back was turned to Jason, so Jason couldn’t see.
“Maybe mom can fix it.” He said. And she could. She cleaned me up and after several days in her house, Kevin took me back. He was a bit sad and caressing me with his thumbs he said:
“Better keep you safe, girl.” And he put me in a box.
I had so liked my freedom and now I was locked away again. I disliked Jason even more. All this was his fault.
I don’t know how long I’ve been ‘in there’, but, one night, I could hear Kevin yell. He was arguing with Jason. Didn’t know what about, but it was heavy. Slamming doors. Kevin upset. I wanted to comfort him, but I could not do anything from inside the closet.
A few days later, I heard Jason and Kevin, next to where I am.
“Are you sure you don’t need me to take you to the airport?”
“No. It will only make things so hard for me. I want to remember you, just as you are. Half naked in the bedroom and I will mentally take off the rest.” Jason laughed. Kevin opened the box I was in, looking very sad.
“I have my new companion right here.” Kevin said.
“Well, as long as you intend to replace me with this old bag, instead of some handsome 18-year old boy, I have no reason to be jealous.” Old bag? Old bag he called me! I’ll show you old bag! I dropped myself on the floor, while Jason was kissing Kevin and as Jason took a step back, he nearly tripped over me. He cursed and Kevin couldn’t help but laugh.
Jason picked me up and threw me on the bed, mumbling something like ‘atrocious thing’, but I didn’t care. In the weeks that followed, I didn’t see much of Kevin. He came home late, smelled too much of alcohol to my taste and I felt depressed. Jason turned out to be not much of a regular caller and seeing Kevin hurt, made me all soft inside. I was starting to sag. Just hanging around rather than standing proud.
And then, one evening Kevin came home…. Whistling!!! He had a bright smile on his face, his blue eyes shining with a new-found zest for life and he was singing, (softly singing, thank God!) I was so curious. Did he talk to Jason? He picked up the phone.
“Edith? Hi. It’s Kevin. Kevin Walker….. Good, good, couldn’t be better. You?….Aw, congrats… Listen, can you look up something for me?.... There is this cop who gave a friend of mine a ticket for a DUI…. I need a bit more info on the cop. Nothing damaging, just…. Right, you got it. If I email you a copy, can you look him up?.... thanks, girl….”
I didn’t know what had happened to Kevin, but he changed. He was home more often. Cleaned up a bit, not that the place was really dirty, but it was not the strict discipline I was used to from Kevin either. He straightened me up again. And, much to my surprise, one afternoon he came in and started to prepare the inflatable mattress… I was curious, who would be staying overnight? I hoped it was Paige. She likes to cuddle me. AND I hoped it would NOT be Cooper. Last time, he accidentally spilt milk all over me, but he got too scared to tell his uncle. Oh, that stench on me!
But no one came. It got later and later. And I didn’t get it. It was way past 11 o’clock when I heard a key. Kevin quickly got up and opened the door further.
“I wasn’t sure I would hear you come in….” I heard him say nervously.
“I tried to be as quiet as possible, not to wake you up….” …. OMG!!! That voice!!….
“…wasn’t sleeping…” Kevin stammered.
“.. Are you sure this is alright? I don’t want to cause any problems between you and… Ahm?..” I was nearly glowing in the dark with disbelief.
“… Jason….. No, don’t worry, let me worry about Jase.” Scotty!!! Scotty is back!
“Are you sure? I will look for another place, as soon as possible….” No, don’t!!
“Don’t be silly. You can stay as long as you like….” I love Kevin! “I’ll show you where everything is…”
“Unless you changed a lot of things, I still remember and, right now, all I want is to go to sleep.”
Scotty said apologetic. Kevin nodded.
“Tomorrow we talk?”
And just when I thought I couldn’t get happier, I heard Scotty mumble.
“Shit! Forgot my pillow.” He looked around and picked me up. “Hope you don’t mind, girl.” Oh, Liza don’t mind, sweetheart! And that night he slept with his head on me and his arm securely underneath me. I was the happiest pillow alive!
I didn’t understand what took them so long. Really I didn’t! I watched them circle around each other. Nervous questions, silly remarks and stupid jokes. Jason didn’t call. Kevin got sadder again and Scotty tried to compensate by trying to cheer Kevin up…. And then Scotty brought home those smelly things….. lobsters… Yugh! Do people really eat that? The lobster was quickly gone, as was most of the champagne. They fell asleep on the couch, squashing the blue-yellow pillows. And I felt sorry for them, they were flattened. The pillows I mean, not Kevin and Scotty.
I was on the chair watching. Feeling sad. They were both so alone and then Scotty woke up, he told Kevin to go to bed and Kevin responded slowly, as if he didn’t want to be separated from Scotty. I could feel the static electricity in my nylon threads. I knew it! I knew something would happen and as they talked, hesitantly, insecure, something shifted and suddenly Kevin was in Scotty’s arms. I wish I could have seen more, but I was so happy I fell off the chair… (blush)
I don’t understand owners. Why was Scotty packing? Why was he leaving? He was upset, I could tell.
“You know, Liza, with a little luck I’ll be gone, before he comes home… I will leave him a note… I can’t stay anymore.” No, please, stay! Talk to Kevin first! Don’t go! Please, don’t go.
I was desperate and about to give up, when…. Kevin came home. Earlier than expected. I will not re-tell it all, but once I understood that Kevin asked Scotty for a third chance and Scotty accepted, I fell backwards on the chair, letting out all the air in me. I came so close to losing Scotty again.
We were happy again. The three of us. It was not easy. Kevin had to get up early and squashed me regularly when he sat on me to put on his shoes… And Scotty often came home very late and fell asleep on me, until Kevin came out of bed at around 4 o’clock and sent him to bed. But I could handle it. I could sense a certain tension. Scotty and Kevin sometimes argued a bit. Not as bad as they used to the first time, but Scotty confessed to me that he was worried that Kevin was still in love with Jason…
But for some reason, one day, Kevin was very nervously running around. There was a knock on the door. He looked at me. Turned me around, than back and then…. Holy stuffings! Jason! Does Scotty know? Scotty, where are you?
They sat down for coffee. Jason found me, behind him.
“ Still have this, huh?” he asked and, embarrassed, Kevin seemed to remember how Jason disliked me.
Their conversation did not run smoothly and I am nearly losing grip on my stitches with laughter The icing on the cake was of course Scotty ‘coming home early’ and bringing something home that was ‘not lobster, but….’ and then having the audacity to ask Jason to stay for dinner…. A dinner that I watched with different emotions. A dinner that ended with Jason and Kevin NOT talking to each other anymore, but only to Scotty, with Jason being perfectly nice to Scotty (and vice versa) and Kevin being a total idiot towards Scotty and Scotty biting his tongue to remain civilized.
That tension could not remain hanging in the air and not long after Jason left, the bubble burst. They yelled at each other and Scotty walked away, infuriated. I waited for him to come home and so did Kevin. I was scared that my happiness would be over and I was as sad as Kevin was. The next day, Kevin left the loft. Worried and alone.
I was sad too. This time the rupture will be final. They will be over and done with. I worried about it and almost did not notice Scotty coming in. I expected him to be sad, hurt and devastated. Instead he came in, threw his keys on the small desk, picked me up and threw me up in the air. I spun around and he caught me. He hugged me tightly before holding me at arm’s length:
“Liza, he chose me! It was ME he wanted! I am so happy! He even promised me to stay away from Jason. I am so happy!... Kevin wants me. He wants me.” I wish I could make my smile brighter. “I want a few hours sleep and a shower and then Kevin and I will have dinner tonight.. together this time.” He shook his head as he let his finger trace my eyes. “I didn’t think I could be this happy. But I am. I’m going to make this work. I promise.” Good boy! Plan ahead! He picked me up and took me with him to the bedroom. He still held me tight as he fell on the bed.
“You know, Liza, maybe one day, he’ll even marry me….. say twenty years from now?” he smiled at me. “ … too soon, huh? I agree. It doesn’t matter. I can wait. He is worth waiting for. Don’t tell him though. ” Not me. “ I love him, you know.” Yes, I guessed that much. He closed his eyes, resting his head on Kevin’s pillow, still smelling of Kevin.
“He is the best thing that ever happened to me.” I was against his belly and I give him all my warmth. Holding me tight he fell asleep. And now, at last, I am in peace too.