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MY KEVIN/SCOTTY AND OTHER B&S FANFIC
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Fanfic: Kevin/Scotty from A to Z - Q - Questions 
12th-Dec-2015 10:52 am
kevin yellow
Kevin/Scotty from A to Z - Q - Questions

By Marea67
About:
Kevin
Rate: G
Disclaimer: Written with love, not for money
Summary: Somewhere during 5.07 between Sarah's house and meeting in Scotty's kitchen again, Kevin takes a moment to raise a few questions.


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

*****

Did you know?
Did you suspect?
That I was the one lying to you?
That while I said that I had a meeting, I was really getting drunk in a bar?

Did you truly think I had given up on you and on what we have?
Did you really think I didn’t care?
That I wasn't proud of you had accomplished, mostly without much help from me?

Oh, why had I not been able to convey all my feelings to you and just tell you, what I know now: that you were my light in the dark? Why could I not confess to you that you were my only reason for getting out of bed in the morning and go on living?

Do you really feel that I consume all the oxygen in the room?
Or I was trying to take the headlines?
Can you believe I never thought of the possibility that you'd be worried about me?
That it never occurred to me that you needed me?

And have I taken it so for granted that you always care for me that I no longer notice it?
I mean, where was I in all this?
And how come I didn’t notice?
Now, looking back, I can see the signs, so why didn’t I see them before?

Was I really that blind to your confusion?
To your guilt?
Or was I just too scared to admit to myself that something was missing in our relationship?
Afraid that I would have to accept that the problem is me, and not you?

And why did you have to tell the truth after all, just when things got better?
Wouldn’t we have been better off not knowing?

Probably not, but we’d be in less pain now, ... right?

Where do we go from here?
Can we trust again?
Can we survive?
Can we change?
Can we forgive?
Can we move on?
As a couple?

Do you really love me?
Can I still love you?

Isn’t it weird how I can only answer the last two questions with certainty?

Yes. You really love me.  I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your voice. I know that you're fighting for what we once had and what we could still have, if I let it happen.
Yes. I want it to happen. because I still love you. With all my heart.

Can we?

THE END

/
Comments 
13th-Dec-2015 09:38 pm (UTC)
This is an interesting way to show Kevin's confusion and mixed feelings after Scotty confessed his faux-pas. I especially love the touch of hope you put at the end of the fic.

Thanks for sharing. :D
14th-Dec-2015 08:15 am (UTC)
I still believe that Scotty should NOT have cheated, because cheating never solves anything, it's not like Kevin is entirely blameless either. He DID abandon Scotty on one of the most important nights of his life, the night when all focus and attention SHOULD have been on Scotty, so I can't blame Scotty for being hurt and upset.

And it's set during 5.07 when things are finally talked about between them two and Kevin can do some evaluation of what happened and what his part in all of it was. At the start of the episode he was really still wallowing in self-pity and I think that Scotty had been right to assess that he had allowed Kevin to define the rules of the debate for too long.

In all, the episode is Kevin/Scotty wise rather interesting, even though the whole cheating-storyline still sucks. :D
14th-Dec-2015 09:58 am (UTC)
I think this is exactly Kevin. The questions are him. Of course the storyline was not the greatest, but it allowed both Kevin and Scotty to progress in their relationship.

well written and thank you for sharing. xx
15th-Dec-2015 08:57 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you. I know, I try to see the 'positives' in this silly storyline as well. If only because Matthew/Luke gave such wonderful performances.
18th-Dec-2015 09:04 pm (UTC)
I like it - it sounds like poetry!
19th-Dec-2015 09:04 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you, I like to hear that. I'm not that poetic and I don't understand half of the 'deep' stuff some poets write, so I usually stay away from it. :D
27th-Mar-2016 12:24 pm (UTC)
It's the flow of the writing that made me think of poetry ;)
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