Line in the sand
By Marea67 About:
: B&S doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money. Summary:
Tommy drew his line in the sand, now Kevin can’t sleep.
“Tommy, if you want to draw a line in the sand, please do, and put me on one side and stand on the other. But if you do, there is absolutely
no going back from that.”
In his mind Kevin replays this scene with Tommy over and over again. Beside him, Scotty is asleep, but Kevin can’t seem to find any peace in his mind. He slips out of bed, trying not to wake Scotty, but it is no use. The moment Kevin’s warmth leaves his personal sphere, Scotty opens his eyes.
He has noticed Kevin’s restlessness. Kevin doesn’t want to talk about it and he respects that. He knows that when Kevin is ready the words will come. Scotty lifts his head and his eyes follow Kevin as he leaves the bed. He sighs. What should have been a nice weekend away turned into a disaster and there’s nothing he, Scotty Wandell, can do to stop it. He can only stand by and watch Kevin get hurt. And he hates
Carefully Kevin opens the door to their balcony to get some fresh air. He is still so hurt, so angry, so confused. There are tears stinging behind his eyes, but they refuse to come. The betrayal runs too deep.
The waves crash softly on the rocks underneath the balcony. It’s just a murmur and Kevin hopes it will relax him. There’s a noise behind him and from behind he feels hands being put on his waist. There is warm breath on his skin as Scotty gently rubs his nose along the side of Kevin’s neck.
The small kiss behind his ear makes him smile and he rests his body against Scotty’s chest. Kevin turns his head and his lips come in contact with Scotty’s. He slowly turns in Scotty’s arms, so that they are face to face and he wraps his arms around Scotty’s neck. It is not really a kiss with the intent to arouse, Scotty merely moves his mouth softly on Kevin’s lips, to let him know he’s there, that he wants to be near Kevin. Kevin shivers in his arms and Scotty wonders if it is excitement, anger or just the cold air.
"I love you." Scotty says softly. And something in Kevin shifts. "I love so very, very much." Scotty's voice is soft and warm and Kevin suddenly feels so incredibly protected by the tenderness in Scotty. The tears seem to come all by themselves. His body shakes and Scotty just holds him. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't try to soothe the pain away. He only holds Kevin very close to him until Kevin's pain subsides.
Scotty’s calm approach is what Kevin needs. He looks up at Scotty. Every time Kevin thinks that he cannot possibly love Scotty more than the last time he thought just that, he finds out that he can.
“I’m sorry I woke you.” He says softly.
“It’s alright. You were so restless, I was sleeping lightly anyway.”
“Tommy drew his line in the sand… And we are on opposite sides.” Kevin’s sadness is so obvious in his eyes and on his face, that it breaks Scotty’s heart to see Kevin so hurt.
“But… didn’t he explain why…?” Scotty starts.
“Yes! But that is such total nonsense!” Kevin switches so quickly to anger that it surprises Scotty a bit. He takes a step back.
Seeing Scotty’s shocked reaction Kevin lifts his hands.
“I’m sorry…. I’m so
sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Kevin apologizes. Scott relaxes a bit.
“Kevin, please, explain it to me. I don’t think I fully understand what is going on. And I don’t know what to do or say or ….” Kevin hates the fact that all this is making Scotty
insecure and doubt himself or his ability to be a strong support for Kevin to depend on. He sits down on the small bench and Scotty sits down next to him.
“Ojai/Walker Landing are heavily in debt…. They need to quickly cut some expenses and the first thing to go was the company I work for.” Kevin starts, trying to make some sense of everything as he’s trying to explain it to Scotty.
“I don’t have a business degree or anything, but could you not have done something about the expenses? I don’t know, maybe some lower rates or ….?”
“Tommy didn’t ask
me for anything. I was completely blindsided by what he did. I didn’t see it coming at all
. I mean, yes, you are right. I could have tried a few things. Write lesser hours, cut the rates, agree to different terms of payment. I don’t know. But as it stands, I was simply fired without further negotiations or explanations…”
“You talked to him tonight, by the fire. I wanted to go downstairs to meet you, but then I saw you with him from the balcony and I didn’t want to disturb you, so I stayed here. What did you talk about?” Scotty asks and Kevin melts at how sweet Scotty’s explanation sounds to him. What good thing did he ever do to get Scotty for a husband he wonders.
“He tried to explain it was nothing personal and that this was to save dad’s company and that dad would have made the same decision.”
“And you don’t believe that?”
“No. He would not have made that decision.”
“So it’s not about Ojai or Walker Landing? Or about Tommy or Holly? It’s not even about getting fired. It’s about your dad?”
“Yes. Dad took me into the company for a reason.”
“Because it’s a family company and you’re his son.” That seems logical to Scotty.
“God, no! He took me into the company because I’m a lawyer.” Kevin replies and Scotty is starting to feel really foolish, because he doesn’t get what is bothering Kevin so much. As if Kevin can read Scotty’s mind, he continues:
“Kitty followed her own path and had no interest in the business. There was Sarah with a good head for the financial side of business, there was Tommy with a good nose for the practical side. Justin was too young. And then there was me…. Dad hated me. I was so silenced by his treatment of me that I was verbally not as strong as Sarah. I was gay, so, in his eyes, not a man like Tommy, who was always better than me. I was basically useless to him and he made me feel that.”
Kevin sighs deeply, he is lost in his bad memories for a few moments as his countless nights of solitude come back to him. The nights where he felt like a complete stranger in his own family, where he could feel his dad’s resentment, of his being gay, in the silence that was between them. Kevin no longer existed for William.
“Not until dad realized that I was top of my class as a lawyer….. He took Sarah into the company because she was his daughter. He took Tommy into the company because he was Dad’s son… He took me into the family company because I was a good lawyer. It ‘redeemed’ my big fault. My being a good advisor to this company made him forgive me for being gay. It made him respect my abilities. It put me back on the family tree.”
Scotty wraps an arm around Kevin and pulls him closer. He takes Kevin into his arms and gently caresses Kevin’s hair.
“So, losing the Ojai account will make you lose your father’s approval, his respect?”
“I know it is silly, father is dead and it should not make a difference, but yeah, I feel like I’m suddenly placed outside the family again. That I am back to being an outsider. Like I’m back to having to be ashamed of…” His voice trails away and Scotty finishes:
“.. of who you are?” Scotty’s voice is very soft but Kevin nods. He gets out of Scotty’s embrace and gets up. He looks at the ocean in the dark. It is dark with only a few lights far away on the water. For a moment Scotty stays on the bench, given Kevin time to regroup himself, but then he gets up. He stands next to Kevin and covers Kevin’s hand, lying on the balustrade. Kevin looks at Scotty and smiles sadly.
“Kevin, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Nora could not have asked for a better son. You are always there when she needs you. You’ve been a loving, caring brother to Sarah, Tommy, Kitty and Justin. You gave your help when Julia wanted to get pregnant. You have learned to accept Robert.. And Rebecca. First as a half-sister and now as your brother’s girlfriend. You couldn’t be a better uncle to Paige, Cooper and Lizzie. You are successful in your work and you will survive losing Ojai. It will take a lot of hard work, but you’ll do it.”
Scotty smiles and taking Kevin into his arms he goes on: “And you are MY husband. And your father has no right to make you feel ashamed of who you are. I won’t let
him. I know you love him in some way, but face it. The man cheated on your mother, cheated on his mistress, lied to his children, kept another child a secret from his family, he embezzled money and created more rivalry between his children then Ojai is worth. I don’t think that he’s the man allowed to throw the first stone to begin with…”
“What am I going to do about Tommy and Ojai and the whale and everything else?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. But maybe you should deal with that tomorrow. Get a few hours of sleep. Let everything sink in.”
“I think you are right.” Kevin says. “There’s nothing I can do right now anyway.”
“No, there isn’t.” Scotty confirms as he kisses the tip of Kevin’s nose. He lets go of Kevin and goes inside.
Kevin follows him, locks the balcony door and watches as Scotty gets in bed.
“Are you coming?” Scotty asks, reaching out to Kevin. Kevin snuggles up close to him, places a kiss on his chest, about where his heart is and gentle compliments:
“I’m glad I have such a smart husband.” Scotty squeezes Kevin a little closer to his body.
“You set a good example.” He kisses Kevin’s hair and pressed up close to Scotty, Kevin finds the sleep he’s been looking for.