Lucky? By Marea67 About:
: B&S doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money. Summary:
Kevin misses a phone-call and gets angry at Scotty.Extra info:
taking place between 2.06 and 2.07
“Kevin! Phone!” Scotty calls out. Kevin runs into the living room, but by the time he picks up, the line is dead, whoever it was probably didn’t want to leave a message.
“Why didn’t you pick it up? You’re standing next to it.” Kevin feels slightly irritated at Scotty.
“Oh, yes, that’s a good idea.” Scotty replies immediately, he pretends to pick up some imaginary phone to say: “Oh, hi, Jason, nice of you to call, yeah, you don’t know me, but I’m Kevin’s ex, who’s currently living with him at his apartment. What, no, please, don’t be mad at me
. It’s not my fault he hasn’t told you
He raises an eyebrow to see if his message is getting through to Kevin. “You
told me to NOT answer the phone, because you had not had a chance to tell Jason about me yet and you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea? Remember?” Kevin bows his head, Scotty is right.
“I’m sorry.” He says more quietly, sounding suddenly even defeated. And Scotty takes a step back. For one moment they had reverted to their arguing, which they used to do lot. But Scotty is taken aback by his easy ‘victory’. Kevin just caved in.
Scotty is a bit worried. Kevin has changed over the months, that they were seperated, like something is missing, broken or maybe something else that Scotty cannot put his finger on.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Scotty apologizes, not sure if it should be him doing the apologizing. Kevin shakes his head. “No, I had no right to yell at you like that. You’re right. I told you not to pick up the phone.”
Kevin sits down, looking a bit shaken. Scotty hesitates for a moment, but then he sits down next to Kevin.
“It’s none of my business, I know. But why don’t
you leave him a message about me?” He asks. “It would make things so much easier. Now it feels like we are doing something wrong or illegal and that is not the case. Why aren’t you being honest to Jason about me?”
“I want him to hear it from me. I want him to hear that I’m still committed to him. That I just wanted to help a friend….”
“Very nice, Kevin, but the longer you wait, the bigger the chance becomes that he’ll hear it from Robert or Kitty, because they talk to him too and they are probably in the assumption that you told him about me. And… I mean… Jason knows that I’m your ex, right? He knows about me and why we broke up?”
The embarrassed look on Kevin’s face betrays that Scotty is wrong. “Oh,… you didn’t tell him about me?” Kevin shakes his head.
“Not really. There… It was just… As a fan of Chad Berry, Jason couldn’t get over the fact that I had actually slept with Chad. He was more interested in my relationship with Chad than with you.”
“And, of course, a soap-actor and a gallery owner will look better on your resume of ex-boyfriends, than a cater-waiter, no?” The remark escapes Scotty’s mouth before he knows it. Upon seeing Kevin’s hurt face, he lifts his hands: “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be like that. It wasn’t about you. Jason was more interested in Chad and Hank because he knows them…. Even if it’s just from name only.”
Scotty nods, it makes sense for Jason to know or at least heard of Kevin’s other exes.
“And… there was something else playing along. I could explain for myself why it didn’t work for me with Chad or Hank, but until today I’m not entirely sure why we really
split up. We had such a rollercoaster-relationship. I know, I kept saying the wrong words, do the wrong things, but at the same time it felt so right. I don’t know where it went wrong.”
“But, what did you say, when they asked why we split up?”
“Nothing. I said I didn’t want to talk about it and they naturally assumed I screwed up. Because that is what Kevin always does. He screws up every relationship he gets.” Kevin’s voice is bitter and it isn’t until he feels Scotty’s hand on his shoulder, that he looks up at Scotty. Kevin sees the concern in Scotty’s eyes and suddenly he feels terribly lonely. He has to swallow hard to reply in a more gently tone of voice:
“That is why it’s so important to me to do this right. I am determined to make my relationship with Jason work. I have
to. Scotty, I’m sick and tired of being seen like a failure. I want to be in a relationship with someone and stay
in it. I am not running away anymore. I want everyone to know that I am reliable and committed and I’m not going to let the others see me fail at this again.… I love Jason and Jason… loves me.”
Scotty has to admit that those last two words are said less ferociously than the others. Kevin turns away, hiding his inner turmoil. Scotty holds on to the couch to control his urge to wrap his arms around Kevin and to kiss away the tears that he has seen on Kevin’s eyelashes. The silence, but also the pain and disappointment hangs between them for several seconds.
“You have to go to work.” Kevin then says neutrally. Scotty watches the clock. Kevin is right.
“Are you alright?” He asks careful.
“Sure.” Kevin replies too cheerful and they both know that Kevin is lying about this. Scotty grabs his coat and bag.
“There were some leftovers from last night. You can heat it up in the microwave.” Scotty says, pointing at the kitchen. Kevin nods, grateful that Scotty thinks about him and makes sure that Kevin has something healthy to eat. He knows, he’s lucky to have Scotty in his life right now.
Scotty stops inches away from Kevin and gently says:
“Do you remember, Kevin, when we stood on those stairs and we discussed your father’s infidelity…?” Kevin nods. “I told you then, that you can’t be faithful to anything, until you know why you should.... I am very happy for you that you have found just that. The person you want to commit yourself to…” Scotty swallows away his jealousy for Jason and his hurt that he himself is not Kevin’s choice and forces a smile on his face: “Jason is very lucky to have you.”
Kevin nods, not entirely convinced of Jason’s luck himself. Scotty is close to him and when he looks straight into Scotty’s eyes he feels like he’s sinking fast. His lips part. Scotty, in his turn, tries hard to ignore the sadness and pain in Kevin beautiful blue eyes. He must seeing things to think that he notices a hint of desire there…. Not after that passionate speech about Jason. Can’t be.
He quickly turns away, breaking whatever bond is between them and with a raw voice he states:
“I have to go.” Kevin watches him leave and all of a sudden the place seems emptier than it has ever been. He sinks down on the couch, looking around he wonders how it is possible that Jason is supposed to be the lucky on to have Kevin, when he, Kevin, is feeling so miserable…