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MY KEVIN/SCOTTY AND OTHER B&S FANFIC
welcome to my fantasies
Fanfic: B&S episode 713: part 4/8 
29th-Apr-2013 12:47 am
quote: get drunk?
Season 7 – Episode 713 – Last dance

By Marea67
About: Brothers & Sisters general
Rate: Can’t go higher than PG-13 as this American Television.
Disclaimer: Just escaping from reality here, not created for financial gain.
Summary: It’s my own season 7. Go with it! If you believe you can do better, write it yourself! I dare you

*****4/8*****

“So, you’re sure about this?” Holly asks.
“Yes, I remember when we burned all your things on the beach… I felt it was time I gave you the opportunity to do that to me too…”
“How nice.” Holly smiles. “So, done with William?”

“Yes. He can keep his secrets and whatever else. I’m not going to search for them anymore.” They both throw a handful of letters and receipts on the fire in the fire-basket and they watch how the paper shrivels up, forever disappearing in the flames. “It is time to let him go.”

“And give Brody a chance….?” Holly asks.
“I don’t know yet… Maybe… I like him, but … he’s always gone. It’s as if, the moment that he senses that I want him to stay with me permanently, he feels the need to run away.

You know, sometimes … it’s too late to domesticate a stray dog or cat. They will never be able to remain indoors, no matter how hard you work to keep them happy. There’s something that calls them to leave. And that is fine… if you’re a dog or a cat. …. Or any other pet.

But it’s not good enough, if you’re the partner of a woman who wants a solid relationship. And this means the woman seriously needs to think twice.” Nora fills her glass again and offers some wine to Holly as well, who shakes her head.
“Words of wisdom. Wish someone had told me this years ago.”

“Ah! Wouldn’t have helped. William was a stray-cat. And we all know that you cannot own a cat…” Nora sighs. Holly laughs and throws a few letters on the fire, without double checking anything. But when she takes the next batch of random papers, there’s a picture of William, talking to another man… Holly stares at William’s face.

“He sure was attractive.” She sighs. “I loved to hear him laugh.” She blinks away her tears and throws the picture on the fire. Nora watches it turn brown and then burn up.
“Sometimes, I’d be in the kitchen, cooking and he’d walk in. I would always act as if it was a surprise, even though I already knew he was sneaking in because the kitchen-door squeaked a little.”

Holly laughs softly. She can imagine the mischievous grin on William’s face.
“I miss him…. Sometimes.” She says.
“Yeah, me too.” Nora admits. “Especially in the middle of the night, when I wake up all alone, in a cold bed… I wanted someone to share my life with and, say what you want, William always tried to be there, when it mattered.”

“I know that I’m not supposed to say this, but I feel like he always tried to be there for me too. Even if it wasn’t always possible because of you…”
“It’s alright to say that. I think he loved you. And Connie. And me…. Each in our own way. Just like he loved his kids. Not one more or less than the other, but just… differently.

I think he wanted to give love.. and be loved in return. And I don’t know about you, but…. There was a period in my life where I’ve hated him, but in the grand balance of life… I loved him and I still do.. ” Nora throws another handful of papers on the fire and she raises her glass of wine. “To William Walker.” She says with no hate in her voice.
“To William Walker.” Holly echoes.

*****

SATURDAY NIGHT

*****

“It’s been lovely day…” Kevin says putting down his glass of red wine. “And we still have tomorrow…”
“You look more laid-back than I’ve seen you in weeks.” Scotty lovingly replies. He lets his fingertips caress along Kevin’s fingers to not show too much intimacy in the restaurant.

“Sleeping in, breakfast in bed, swimming-pool, sauna and all that luxury tends to make one feel like a purring cat…” Kevin’s eyes meet Scotty’s. Neither one looks away, their smile only broadening because they remember the secret behind their smile.

“I love this part, … when you look at someone and they don’t look away….”

“I love you and I’ve seen an idiot these last few weeks….” Kevin says. Scotty doesn’t want the mood to be spoilt, but he has to recognize that they should talk.
“A lot happened in very short time. A lot of grief. And there was Elizabeth and Billy to worry about and …. It was quite a lot to deal with….”

Kevin sighs and he looks guilty.
“I didn’t want to spoil the mood…”
“You didn’t. You have to speak what’s on your mind.”

“I feel like I must say something …”
“Then don’t speak….” Scotty smiles gently. “Do whatever you want…. How about we walk along the beach and burn some calories?”
“I don’t know. I’m actually a little tired and I wouldn’t mind going to bed early… We don’t necessarily have to sleep right away….”

“How about we have a long hot bath together first? … I’ll wash your back… and anything else you want me to wash….” Scotty’s voice is seductive.
“Good idea… It suddenly got very hot in here…” Kevin grins, pulling at the collar of his shirt. They both get up to go their room…

*****

“This. This is heaven….” Kevin sighs. Eyes closed he leans against the side of Jacuzzi as the warm water seems to evaporate all other thoughts.
“I’ve been doing some thinking…. Kev, … Justin told me that you believe that I wouldn’t have married you if I had known what I know now.” Scotty brings Kevin’s heavenly thoughts to a screeching halt.

“Okay, that was a sudden change of topic… But… yes, that’s what I told him.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“No…. Not on good days…” Kevin tries to joke to keep the mood lighthearted.

“And on bad days?” Scotty asks. Kevin realizes that Scotty is serious and so he becomes honest too.
“On bad days, I fear that when I come home I’ll find a note in which you tell me that you left me, because you’re sick and tired of me, my family and the drama that we bring…”

“You guys bring drama alright.” Scotty agrees. “But, seriously, leave you for it?”
“You must have had other dreams than all the hard work we have now…?”
“Sure. I had other dreams. And, yes, it is hard work. But I love to come home to you and Daniel and Olivia. And Mateo, Elizabeth and Billy. You and our kids make it worth it to come home…”

Scotty shifts in the water, so he can face Kevin by straddling Kevin’s legs. He takes Kevin’s face in his hands to make sure that Kevin must look him in the eyes.
“Kevin, if I had known back then, what I know now… I would have said yes even quicker, it that was at all possible….”

He sees the unsure smile on Kevin’s face and Scotty can’t help but wonder:
“Why do you always assume that you’re not worth loving? You give so much love to so many people and in so many different ways, why do you always feel that you have to ask to be loved in return…? …. Do you know what the real question should be?”

Kevin shakes his head, too afraid to say something with this much sincerity and tenderness put upon him.
“The real question should be… If you had known then, what you know now… the darkness, my cheating, my inexperience and my insecurities…. Would you still have asked me to marry you?”

“Oh, God, in a heartbeat.” Kevin answers without even thinking over the answer.
“Well, … why don’t we?”
“What?”
“Why don’t we renew our vows?”

“Renew our v….?” Kevin is too stunned.
“It’s been a rough couple of years. So much has changed…. We’ve lost people, we’ve gained new friends… Different jobs. Different expectations. We’ve seen dreams crash and we’ve made new ones… We made so many choices that had major impact on us…

We have 5 kids…. I just want you and them and everyone else to know, that I embrace those changes. And that I love all five kids… and my work, and your family and mine… and …. And that I love you. So, …. With everything you know now, will you marry me all over again?”
“Yes! Yes, I would.” Kevin answers with tears in his eyes.

*****

Nora doesn’t recognize the handwriting, but when she sees the name of the daughter of William Walker’s sister Sarah, she begins to smile. There’s a copy of a letter and quick little note from Samantha.

"Hi, aunt Nora, just a quick message from me to tell you that I’m grateful that you managed to find the letters that my mother had send to her brother, your husband. It was hard for me, because my mother wrote so many things that I had long forgotten and it was as if the grief over losing my mother came back full force…

So I decided to stop for a while. But last night, I decide to pick it up again, feeling I was emotionally ready for it and I was shocked by something that she wrote in one of her letters… I think it is something you should know about as well… I have enclosed a copy of that letter. It is the only letter that I found, so far, that speaks of what happened at their home.”


Nora sits down at the kitchen table and she closes her eyes. Had she really believed that she could close the chapter on William by burning the content of those boxes? She no longer wanted to know more dirty secrets on William, but what else could this be, but yet another disaster waiting…. She takes a deep breath and picks it up.

“Read it, Nora. Deal with it, like you’ve dealt with everything else….” Nora encourages herself. She unfolds the letter and starts to read, ready for anything that Samantha could have found out. Nora quickly realizes that it must be a letter that William’s sister Sarah must have written right after the only meeting they had face-to-face, because she writes:

“I’m glad that we spoke to each other in person. It was good to see you, even if briefly. I know I’m a terrible person, but I had to see you face, I had to see your eyes, when I asked you about our father. And you cannot know the happiness that I feel to know that you were not responsible for his death.

To hear you say, while looking at me without even blinking, that our father’s death was an accident and not something you had caused, was such as relief. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to answer your questions. With my happiness over the fact you hadn’t killed him after all, came the realization how much I hated him myself and the reasons why.

It confused me and brought back feelings I hadn’t had in a long time. Yet, I feel that you have a right to answer to your questions. I want to be brief, because I do not wish to dwell on this. For me I’ve closed this chapter of my life and I will not go back to it. I refuse to let father hurt me again.

But I must recognize that you lived in that house too and that you were a witness to things you shouldn’t have witnessed. I have to let you know, for you own sanity, that your memories, terrible are as they are, are real. It pains me to go back to this. So, I will confirm this to you, but can we then NEVER discuss this again?

Yes, father smothered mother by putting a pillow on her face… He was tired of looking after her. Yes, father drank way too much and his violence was directed at you and me and everyone else around him. Your memory of him trying to strangle you is correct too. He was drunk.


Yes, he poisoned your dog. Yes, he locked up in the cellar, knowing you were afraid of the dark. Yes, he would punish you by taking away your food and nearly starving you. And, yes, after mother died, our father expected me to replace mom in every way. Yes, he did come to my room at night or expect me to come to his.

Yes, you were right with your guesses as to what happened there and, yes, the baby I carried and that died after it was born, was indeed our father’s child. I don’t know if it was still-born or if father had a hand in the child’s death. We never talked about it again. I only know that it was the reason why I had to run away.

I no longer wanted father to touch me. I was sick of him and I was sick of myself. William, you were just a child, I tried to protect you, but father was less careful. I never knew how much you knew about what was going on, but you weren’t stupid. I suppose that once you were old enough and had gained more knowledge of life, you would connect the dots for yourself…

That is also the reason why I was worried that you might have hurt father once you had made the connection. That man had ruined a large part of my life and I didn’t want his death to weigh on your conscience. Not because of me…. I should have spoken up, told someone about what was going on, but I didn’t dare. I was too afraid of father.

I’m sorry, William, that I couldn’t answer your questions when you asked them. Perhaps my silence (or the fact that I didn’t deny it) was all the answers you needed, but, travelling back home, I realized that I had been wrong. I felt you had a right to know this, if only to finally have some confirmation of your own suspicion.

I’m sorry I couldn’t do this face-to-face, but I’m still ashamed and embarrassed to let anyone know…. Please, destroy this letter… I never want my daughter to find out… My husband knows, but … we never talk about it….”


In tears, Nora puts the letter down and she looks at the picture of William.
“Is the reason why you never talked about your parents, about your life before we met? Because there wasn’t anything you wanted to remember? Secrets are a part of your past… You never knew better…. You and your sister never learned to speak up, tell the truth…”

She reads it all one more time and then folds the letter again. Even if it’s just a copy and Samantha still has the original, Nora doesn’t want to read on. She takes a match and, above the sink, she lights the copy of the letter. As it shrivels up between her fingers she decides that it should all stay in the past and that it is time to finally put William to rest and give him peace.

*****

End of part 4/8

**** COMMERCIAL BREAK****

I will post the other four chapters in about 6 hours. It's nearly 1 in the morning. LJ is acting up and I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
Comments 
29th-Apr-2013 02:29 am (UTC)
“Why do you always assume that you’re not worth loving? You give so much love to so many people and in so many different ways, why do you always feel that you have to ask to be loved in return…? Well this line pretty much sums up the Kevin Walker we have all known and loved for seven seasons. Hopefully Scotty can make him realize what a deserving man he is.
30th-Apr-2013 09:30 pm (UTC)
It was indeed a valid question. I would love to explore it more. :)
29th-Apr-2013 04:32 am (UTC)
now Ok..will lob babk @ Lunch to read..Thanks for writting gal
30th-Apr-2013 09:31 pm (UTC)
You're welcome! :)
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