Behind the mask 17/?By Marea67About:
Kevin/Scotty and others.Rate:
When Scotty has to deal with too many disasters at once, William offers him a solution that will change his life
“Are you alright?” Scotty eventually asks, not able to control his curiosity anymore. “You’ve been quiet all day and haven’t said a word all night. Even now, … you're just not here
“I’m sorry. I just hope that Tyler can read everything.”
“Well, she did say that she thought she had ‘cracked the code’….” Scotty raises his hands to make quotation-marks.
“I know. I’m not sure, if I want to know though. What if Dryden got paid to keep me calm, because the family no longer wanted me around?”
“That’s ridiculous! You know what Justin said…”
“He was kid, maybe he doesn’t know better. Maybe mom and dad just… I know that it would hurt them to see me. I know mom couldn’t deal with it anymore.”
“Doesn’t sound like Nora to me. She would never give you up.”
“Maybe you and I don’t know my mom as well as we thought.”
“Come to bed…” Scotty asks, but Kevin shakes his head.
“I’m sorry, babe, I feel so much unrest in me… I’d keep you awake…”
“That can be entertaining as well.” Scotty teases gently and Kevin smiles, glad to see Scotty isn’t pushing the topic too much.
“Very tempting, but no. You deserve the best and I can only be at my best when my full attention is on you and not on a million other things.” He kisses Scotty’s lips. “Get some sleep. I mean it….” He adds when he sees Scotty ready to protest. “If the news is bad, I’m going to need you so much…
Scotty nods silently that he understands Kevin’s meaning.
“I feel like I’m waiting for a hurricane to blow over.” He tells Kevin.
“I hope it passes us and doesn’t leave too much destruction, but … I fear the worst.”
“Me too.” Scotty says and he lies down.
“Okay, I give up. What the hell is going on?” Chad says. “I’m sorry, but it’s 10 o’clock at night and you want to go for a walk
along the water?”
“Please.” Jason’s voice is almost a whisper and Chad frowns.
“Whatever.” He sighs annoyed and he grabs his coat.
The night is cool against Chad’s skin, but the warmth of the day still lingers in the air. Jason walks alongside him, but they don’t talk and Chad wonders what on Earth is going on. Jason has been acting weird these last two days and it’s unsettling. Chad doesn’t like people who act out of character.
Whenever his father would act out of character, there would pain in the air. Either him, or his mother or his younger sister. It had cost them their lives and almost made him lose his, so he’s sensitive to changes.
“Is this just pleasure-walk?” He asks more aggressively than the situation needs.
Jason shakes his head and points to a bench on the middle of the quayside.
“I can’t do this anymore.” Jason says. “I want a divorce.”
“I’ll give you any reason you want…. Just, … get out while you can.”
want a divorce, but the one who will have to ask for one is me
?” Sarcasm is drooping from Chad’s voice.
“I know you’re not happy. And you’re right. You don’t belong with us… You need to get out, before they break you as well.”
“If you think that…” Chad starts to argue.
“Scotty Wandell is in Wales.” Jason bitterly throws his last card on the table.
“What?!” Just the mere mention of Scotty’s name makes his heart beat faster.
“He’s looking after … Kevin Walker.”
Jason sounds as if just the mention of Kevin’s name rips his heart out and Chad is suddenly very interested. Not just because of Scotty, but also the name of Kevin Walker. He of course knows that Kevin was Jason’s ex, he had done his homework on Jason, but Jason hardly ever talks about him, like Scotty’s name hardly comes over Chad’s lips.
“Your ex?” He asks. Jason nods.
“I heard through the family gossip-channels that after you two … split up…
and he lost his dad, he also lost his money and needed a place to regroup. At the same time, a friend of Thomas Walker, Dryden, who had been looking after Kevin all these years, got killed in an accident. ...
One thing lead to another, and William Walker asked Scotty for his help. Scotty went to Wales, to the house where Kevin and I had planned to live, to look after Kevin.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“So, you can get out. If you ask Scotty for his forgiveness, maybe… he’ll take you back.”
Chad sits back. The thought is entertaining, but he fears he may have burnt his bridges with Scotty a little too well.
“I don’t think he will. And I think you know that too.” Chad says and Jason is a bad liar.
“Robert mentioned something like that, yes… But Robert could be wrong.”
“I don’t believe that anymore than you do, Jase. Why are you trying to get rid of me now?”
“I thought that by marrying you, I would somehow be able to reclaim some … independence.
A life of my own. A career of my own. I would get a house, be with my husband and … have a life
. It worked with Kevin.”
The bitterness in Jason’s voice is so deep that Chad looks at him. It is the first time in their relationship that he hears and sees Jason having emotions. He had never known that Jason could harbor such intense hate and it is as if it’s the first time he sees Jason, but rather than being shocked, Chad becomes curious.
“Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around? You
were supposed to be my
“I thought we could do this together…” Jason slowly shakes his head and Chad is quiet for a few minutes. It had never crossed his mind that Jason could have needed him.
It’s a strange, but good feeling.
“Then… talk to me… have a conversation
with me, tell me what is going on in that mind of yours…” And it all sound so easy to Jason. He looks up.
“I wish I dare to confide in you.” Jason sighs unhappily and he feels like he’s been holding his breath for too long.
With one hand Chad grabs Jason’s hand, with his other hand he caresses Jason’s face.
“Talk to me.” Chad whispers. Jason looks away over the water.
“There’s so much… The oppression feels worse and worse. I feel like I can’t breathe. Kevin was once the one who nearly saved me… but… I wrecked that…”
Jason bows his head and tears start to flow. Chad is a bit overwhelmed by Jason’s breakdown, but hesitantly wraps an arm around Jason. Jason lets his head rest against Chad’s chest. Chad can feel the tears on his shirt. This is real, he can tell the difference, and Chad holds Jason tightly until he finally calms down.
“Whatever you did to Kevin, can’t you fix it? Say sorry or something?” Chad then carefully asks. Jason shakes his head.
“Can you fix it with Scotty? Will 'sorry' help in your case?” Jason asks, this time it’s Chad’s turn to shake his head. “So, we’re kind of stuck with each other, huh?”
“Do you want to tell me a little bit more about Kevin?” Chad isn’t sure if he wants to know, but he believes it’s important to Jason.
“Will you, in return, be honest about Scotty?” Jason’s return-question makes Chad smile.
“Yes. I can do that.”
“Need some company?” Justin asks, taking Kevin out of his thoughts.
“If you want…” He shrugs. “How’s Tyler doing with the ‘translation’?”
“Not sure, she’s entirely engrossed in it, typing away on her laptop, but she won’t let me read it. She says that if anyone else will be allowed to read it, it should be you first.”
“I’m sorry.” Kevin says, not entirely convinced he has something to apologize for.
“Don’t be silly, she’s right. This is about you and your life, and why Dryden wanted to ruin it, so, you should be the first one to read it…. It’s just … I’m curious and I have the feeling that Tyler is getting increasingly more miserable from what she reads.”
“Justin, if I ask you a terrible question, will you promise me not to get mad at me?” Justin can see that Kevin has something on his mind.
“I won’t get mad. I promise.” He says.
“You told me about mom and dad and yourself and how you all missed me, is that really true?”
“Of course it is.”
“If they did… Why did they never come to see me?”
“You didn’t want them to. You had told them that it hurt you so badly to see them, because it kept reminding you of what you lost and you hated to see them leave again.
You knew they were in pain and that hurt so much. You felt it was better for everyone if they wouldn’t come anymore… Mom was devastated by your decision, but dad, after a few days of letting the message sink in, decided it was unacceptable. Yet, when he showed up here, against your wishes, you went ballistic.
It was so bad that Dryden had to control you and then you beat him up and knocked him into the hospital. Dad had been so shocked by your outburst that he decided that it would be smarter to only come back once you were ready to receive him and mom again…
It was also the reason why I came here to see Scotty
and not you. Your decision to not see anyone from the family extended to everyone, including me, Sarah and Kitty, but excluding
Tommy, because Tommy was allowed to see Dryden.” Kevin blinks after Justin’s explanation. It makes a little sense to him now, except…. He can’t remember any of this.
END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN