The 39 steps August 20, 2008
It’s 39 days to go until the start of season 3 in America.
There are 39 episodes for season 1 and 2. (Not taking the unaired episode in account or the original pilot, as not everybody can see those)
I started to watch the episodes again. One episode a day.
And then I got the plan to write a small scene for every episode. (Never more than 1 page long) 1.21 Grapes of wrath
Disclaimer: B&S doesn’t belong to me. Written with love, not for money.
Summary: Joe goes back home. Alone.
He figures Sarah will probably drive back with Kevin or Nora. He looks at all the people walking in and out. Everyone of them cheerful and full of expectations for the celebrations ahead. He sincerely hopes that Tommy will be successful. At least, he escaped from his father and Ojai and Joe secretly wishes that Sarah would do the same. He gives “Walker Landing” just one last look, before getting in his car.
Driving away feels liberating. Away from the Walkers, it feels like he finally gets some air. He loves Sarah, he loves her passionately. That is what makes all this so bad. He wants to be with her, for her
to be with him
. When they just got married, they had both been worried about how to make their marriage work. Sarah looked at her parents’ marriage and saw ‘perfection’.
Alright, she was not oblivious to the differences between William and Nora or to their frequent arguments about politics, environment or gay-rights, but she saw a marriage that worked and took it for an example. But Sarah is not Nora and he’s no William. When Sarah became pregnant, he was so incredibly happy, but at the same time realized he had to throw his life around. Sarah was an independent woman, but their child needed him. He was responsible for him/her.
He was smart enough to realize that Sarah made more money than he ever could. It was sensible
for him to be at home and for Sarah to work. At first it was still easy. He would still write his songs, Paige being an easy child made that possible. And Sarah could support them both, she was very good at her job. When Cooper came it was more difficult. Cooper was a handful and Paige started to become a person in her own right… And time just slipped by.
And one morning he had looked in the mirror and seen a man who had lost his dreams. Who had not become the man he wanted to be. Sarah had hoped that her work at Ojai would give her some more time with the children and he hoped the same. Perhaps he could see if he still had that touch to write and create, but Sarah grew further away from him. He had wanted her home and she was always at the office.
And now, he no longer knew what to do. When Rebecca had looked at him, he had wanted to be that young man again. he was way back then. But the moment he kissed her, he realized his mistake. He was no longer that man, because that man had become a husband and a father. A father of two lovely children and the husband of a woman he absolutely loved. He had to stop. He was too upset to drive. Yes, he still loves Sarah… but maybe it’s just… too late?